


If it truly is fate | Kylo Ren x Reader

by noniebeanie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo - Freeform, Bendemption, F/M, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Oh gosh there's gonna be a lot of angst, Please read it and give whatever feedback lol, Space Darcy, Writing this before christmas, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21935305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noniebeanie/pseuds/noniebeanie
Summary: Reader is from earth, living a normal boring life. What happens if one day she randomly teleports and ends up in space, with people who had laser swords and troops who can’t shoot in the right direction? And then meets a very handsome man?
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 21
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Kylo Ren fic

You weren’t a busy person, in fact you actually thought your life was a bit boring and needed a little bit of fun in it. Unfortunately you didn’t have friends who lived close to you, so you didn’t have anyone to spend fun nights with. 

You decided to write something, it was a book about a Person being torn between the light and the dark. You thought it was a pretty awesome plot so you kept on going with it, everytime you get home from work you’d spend time adding chapters into the book. 

Today was a bit more tiring for you, your boss gave you the paperwork another worker was supposed to do, and you couldn’t say no. 

You entered the door of your house with a sigh. You turned on the lights and flopped down the couch, You grabbed your laptop and opened it, when it didn’t turn on you assumed that the battery was drained, you reached for the charger on the table and plugged it in. 

What happened next was weird, the room shifted and everything turned black for a moment before you saw that you were in a different place. You were on the ground, laying on the sand. You pushed yourself up and looked around, you managed to see a small hut just a few steps away, but before you could even take a step forward, you ware back in your living room the same position you were in before that happened. 

I’m just tired. You reassured yourself, and continued what you were doing. 

\----

The next day, everything started out normal, you had your usual morning drink and walked to work. You weren’t greeted by anyone, nor did you greet anyone, you’ve managed to stay invisible as much as possible. 

You placed your bag on your work table and turned on your computer, the sound of the office made everything even more boring for you. The only things that could be heard were the sounds of the ceiling fan, phones ringing, and the muffled sound of the song coming from the headphones of the person beside you. 

You noticed that it was the same song everyday, you rarely hear the lyrics but the tune was the one you recognized, you wanted to ask what song it was, but you were too shy to do so. You sighed to yourself and looked through your bag for the pen you always brought with you. As soon as your hand searched for the pen, you were in another place again. 

Everything around your had a dark style on them, the place was cold and you could hear footsteps approaching. Soon, a man in dark clothes and a mask entered your vision, and he saw you. 

You disappeared after that. 

You came back to reality with a gasp, your hand was shaking as you pulled it out of your bad and ran your fingers through your hair. You must be loosing your mind. 

“Hey, you alright?” The man beside you, the one you’ve been working with for at least four years talked to you for the first time. “You look like you’re going to pass out.”

“What?”

“You look really pale and.. I think you should take a day off, I’ve never seen you take a sick leave or anything before, I’m sure boss will understand.” You nodded at him, and took his advice. You informed your boss about it and let you go. 

Once you got home, you drank some medicine and a lot of water before lying down your bed, but your body haven’t even touched the cushion yet when if happened again. And this time you looked like you were in a village, you heard people screaming around you and strange gunshots, you stood up and tried to look around once again. You saw a few people with white armors on with a helmet. 

And there he was again, the man you saw from earlier. 

His head snapped to your direction, as if he knew you were there. He raised his hand to you, but you just stood there, he tried to do it again but it didn’t work. 

Is it supposed to do something? You thought to yourself.

Soon, there’s men walking over to you, it was stupid not to run away but you figured that you would snap out of the whole thing soon.

The two weird looking white armored men held your arms tightly as they dragged you towards the masked man. It felt real, you could feel their tight grip on your arms and was too distracted about it to even realize that you were nearing the masked person.

“Who are you?” He asked with a robotic voice. 

“U-uhm, I’m Y/n L/n.” You swallowed the lump on your throat. 

“Do you work for the resistance?”

“I don’t even know what resistance is?” You chuckled a little. “I do work for this advertising company-”

“Take her with us.”

“That won’t be a waist of time for you, I’m probably going to disappear soon.” Your comment was ignored though. You eyes shifted to someone behind the tall masked person. There was a guy holding up a weird looking gun at him. 

He fired it and you raised your hand at him. 

“Look out!” suddenly everything became even more weirder, the shot was stopped halfway and didn’t hit anyone. “Oh, holy shit.” 

You put your arm down and the blast was sent back to the person who fired it, and now you didn’t know if you knocked him out, or he was dead. 

“Oh, Fuck!” You exclaimed loudly. 

“You seem to be unfamiliar of what you’re doing.” 

“I don’t even know where I am.” You whispered to yourself and let them take you with them, hoping that you would wake up from all of it soon. 

\----

You were put in a room, alone with the masked guy you desperately want to know the name of, you were in a chair with restraints which made you anxious. 

“Are you going to kill me?” You asked. 

He didn’t answer but took off his mask instead, it made a hissing sound before he pulled it off, and behind that mask wasn’t a robot or a weird alien, but a person, a man, a very beautiful man. 

“Where did you come from?” He asked. 

“Uhm- i don’t know. Earth?” You tried. 

“Do you know about your abilities?” He asked again. 

“No, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got something wrong with me. I’m not supposed to be here, I was sick and I’m supposed to be in bed, resting. Maybe I’m in another dimension or something? or I’m just a psychopath.” You tried not to take everything seriously. “what’s your name anyways?”

“Do you want to know about it?” He ignored your question.

“What? about all this weird...shit?”

“..Yes.”

“I guess so-”

“Then you’re going to be staying here, and I’m going to teach you about the force and about all this.” You didn;t even think about it. because soon (you hope) you’re going to be back home, and then you’re going to rest. The next day you’re going to a doctor and find out what kind of sickness you have. 

“Okay then, but I’m going to need your name.” You smirked at him. 

“It’s Kylo Ren.”


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just more training stuff with Kylo, this is more of a filler than a chapter.

Apparently, you weren't going to spend your whole stay in a cell. You were actually sent to a normal room, with a bed, and a bathroom, You couldn't help but admire the whole place. It was definitely much bigger than your own apartment. The stormtroopers, the ones with the white armors were guarding you everywhere you go. 

You were getting more anxious every minute, you were supposed to be back by now. You wondered if this was all actually happening, what if you actually had the power to teleport to another world?

But you brushed those thoughts away and lied down the bed, you closed your eyes and tried to fall asleep, maybe when you wake up you'll be back, it was all a dream and you passed out on your bed because of your sickness.

but that didn't happen anytime soon. 

\----

You were woken by the door sliding open, a trooped walked in and said that the Supreme Leader required your presence, you assumed that Their leader was the Kylo Ren you met. 

You followed him out as he leaded you to the Supreme Leader. You ended up in a training room but with only one person in it, Kylo Ren. The stormtrooper left, you thought it would be awkward if you just stood there so you walked closer to him. He was wearing something that looked much more comfortable than what he wore the first time you met him, you watched as he floated with his legs crossed and his eyes closed. He must have sensed that you were there, he opened his eyes and then suddenly were thrown back against the wall. 

"Ow." You massaged your head that hurt because of the impact. "What the hell was that?"

"It works on you now. You've let your defense down." He said in a monotone voice. 

"Yeah, well I just woke up." You groaned as you stood up from the floor. "You should really.. uhm try not to throw people across the room because they scared you."

"I wasn't scared." he said. "I already knew that something changed. I simply tested it." 

"Why am I here anyways?" 

"We're starting your training now. And we're starting with physical combat." He threw a staff to your direction, which you luckily caught. You didn't want to look stupid in front of him.

"So no magic stuff yet?"

"It would be useless if you don't know how to defend yourself physically. Do you have any experience?" You scrunched up your nose at his question. You thought of the times you would play with your dad with fake swords. 

"I guess?" 

"good." He charged at you and you blocked it, he kept on going even if your arms hurt. "You're panicking."

"Of course I am! You look like you're going to kill me!" You were out of breath and felt like your arms we're going to fall off your body. 

"Then defend yourself!" He exclaimed. You raised your hand up and he was on the ground within a second. You forced his staff out of his hands as you pointed yours at his face. 

"Was that okay?" You asked, out of breath. You handed him his own staff back and offered him your hand so he could get up. But he stood up on his own. "Thanks for going easy on me."

"What?"

"You know what I mean, You could easily beat me but you chose not to. Now, can you please teach me all this force stuff?" You sat on the floor and wiped the sweat off your face. You really wanted some water right now, a bottle was soon in front of your face, you took it from his hand and smiled a little. 

"Thank you." You removed the lid off and drank-\\.

\----

You were back to your room and surprisingly found some clothes on the bed for you, thank god because you rally needed to get out of your long sleeves and leggings after your 'training.' You took a shower and changed into your new set of clothes immediately. 

You looked around the room and found a shelf filled with books, some are written in words you couldn't understand. You took one out and looked through the pages, you sat down the bed and started to look for something interesting. 

You found a page about the force, how it was the one that binds everything together. You read more about random stuff, a woman walked in with a tray of food in her hands, she put them on your table quietly. 

You put down your book and ate, while wondering if anyone would mind you wandering around. 

\----

"Ma'am we really can't let you out of this room." You've been trying to get them to lrt you go for the third time.

"Look." You gently held his shoulders. "It's okay, I'm just going to.. look around and you won't tell anyone that I'm gone."

He stood up straighter. "It's okay that you're gone and I won't tell anyone." It worked, you grinned to yourself. A few minutes of reading could be so helpful. 

You walked away and started to look around, you knew there was a high chance you'll get caught, you looked like a small girl who's lost inside a toy store. You managed to stay unnoticed for a good 30 minutes before a redhead spotted you. 

"Ah, you must be the force user Kylo found." He was smiling but there was something in his voice when he said Kylo's name, they probably didn't get along. "If anyone else found you here they would have take you to Ren, who knows what he could have done."

"He's not that bad you know." You said. He looked at you curiously. 

"You're lost, aren't you?"

"A bit." You admitted. "Would you mind to show me my way back?" You waited for an answer. 

"Just because you're valuable to the supreme leader. Come on." He walked ahead of you, you followed behind him as he lead the way. 

"I'm Y/n, by the way." You lifted you hand up for him to shake, but he ignored you and everything you just said. You both walked silently to your room, when you arrived he left without a word. 

You decided to take a shower after that and got some sleep, hoping that this time you'll actually wake up on your own bed.

\----

The next day you were woken by another "The Supreme Leader requires your presence in the training room." 

Luckily you didn't get thrown into a wall this time, he taught you how to fight properly without going full on beast mode this time. And when it was time for a break you decided to ask him some questions. 

"Why are you wasting your time on training me?" 

"Because you have potential, we could use you in battle. To defeat the resistance." You said in a low voice.

"I read that you could do some more things with the force, like mind control or something, is that true?" 

"Yes." He sighed, he was growing tired of your questions. But you didn't catch up on that. You wanted to tell him how you did it on someone today, but you didn't know how he would react to it. 

"Can you read mine?"

"What?" He was confused, no one had ever asked him to read their mind before. Let alone look at their memories. He looked into your eyes and saw haw serious you were even if there was excitement in your eyes as well. 

"Come on. just tell me what I'm thinking of right now." He groaned, doing exactly what you asked. He knew that you won't shut up about it if he didn't do so. 

"Cupcakes. You're thinking about cupcakes." He said. You smiled at him before picking up your staff again, and you both went on with what you were earlier, you actually nailed some of the moves he taught you. 

Perhaps you were getting used to the whole place, because the last thing in your mind was going back home. And you didn't even worry about it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter didn't bore you, I'm sorry if some they're out of character. It's my first time writing for star wars.. Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn something about your family that you should've known about a long time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: just to make things clear, Star Wars doesn't exist on Reader's world.

A/n: just to make things clear, Star Wars doesn't exist on Reader's world. 

It was almost a week since you ended up here, you started to believe that maybe this was all real, that you weren't crazy or anything. 

Kylo said that you could look around the ship, eat with other people during lunch and just wander around in your free time. You were eating in the cafeteria when someone spoke in your mind. 

Meet me at the training room after you finish eating. You furrow your eyebrows before realizing who it was. 

Kylo? You asked in your mind. But you recieved no answer, you decided not to push it, in the past week you learned that it is not good when Kylo is annoyed. 

You finished your meal and did what he asked you to do, you also managed to memorize your way to the training room so no need for anyone to escort you there anymore. 

"I'm here!" You called out as soon as you walked in. 

"What took you so long?" He asked, he was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. He looked like he was already ready to meditate.

"In a bad mood already? You said as soon as I finished my food, and I just did." Kylo took a deep breath, if anyone else talked to him like that, the person would most likely be dead. He didn't know why you were an exception, but you were. 

"I'm going to teach you the one you asked last time." Your eyes brightened at his words. 

"Like the mind reading stuff?" His lip twitched into a quick smirk. 

"Yes." Then he told you about focusing on your goal and connecting yourself to the force. "Try it on me." 

Kylo himself was surprised by the words that came out of him mouth, could he trust you? 

"Are you sure?" He nodded at you, you closed your eyes and concentrated on getting into him mind. Soon, you saw fragments of his memories flash before you, then you saw a forest you looked around and saw Kylo on the ground, staring at a girl. 

You exited the scene and you saw a young Kylo next. It felt like you were in the memory as well, but no one cod see you. 

"Ben!" A man called out, you saw the young version of you mentor turn around. "Come on here." 

"Just a moment!" The young boy responded, he looked at the sky one more time before walking away. 

"That's enough." You pulled away from his mind and you returned to reality. 

"Your name's Ben?" You asked. "Your real name?" 

"Yes." He mumbled quietly. 

"I'm sorry If I went too far." You apologized. Although it wasn't your fault, he asked you to do it. 

"It's... Alright. You did well." Perhaps it was all those time you spent with each other. But you sensed that he was upset about something, he was sad. 

You felt like your whole body moved on its own, you leaned in closer to him and wrapped your arms around him. He didn't move but you felt his body stiffen against your touch. "It's alright to open up sometimes." 

Kylo's heart was racing inside his chest, he was nervous, but why? It was just you, a girl he wanted to train so he'd have someone... Someone to what? Rule the galaxy with? Someone to trust? Someone to... care for?

You pulled away and gave him a sweet smile. He just stared at you, with furrowed eyebrows and serious eyes. 

"You are dismissed, take a break tomorrow." You nodded and left Kylo in the quiet room. 

Kylo buried his head on his hands as he heard you walk away. 

\----

The next day, you spent your time walking around with a book in hand, earning a couple of weird glances from the officers and workers, you haven't seen Kylo all day.

You passed by Hux and you flashed him a smile. "Hello." 

"I hope you're not lost this time." He said. 

"Oh, no I'm actually not. How have you been?" You walked beside him as you talked. 

"That's none of your business." He walked ahead of you, you shrugged it off and browsed you book. 

You flipped through the pages and saw an illustration of a familiar man, you furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at the name of the person at the bottom of the picture. 

Y/f/n. 

"Dad..." you whispered to yourself, you flipped to the next page and read about it, it said that he had a rare ability to travel to another world or dimension, but disappeared after he saved children from the first order. 

'It was rumored that Y/f/n ran away.' 

You stopped walking, it felt like the air in your lungs were trapped. You ran back to your room and tried to catch your breath. 

You didn't know what to feel about the information you just read, glad because it meant that you weren't loosing your mind? Or disappointed that your father never told you about anything about it.

Your father died a few years ago, leaving you and your mom alone. You thought of your mom, closing your eyes as you concentrated on her, hoping that your powers will take you back to her.

Once your eyes fluttered open, you were in your Mother's house. You could smell the cookies baking in the kitchen, you walked around and looked for her. 

"Y/n?" Someone called behind you. "I've been calling you for weeks! Why haven't you been answering my calls? Your landlord already called me, your boss about you disappearing." 

"I was... I-" you sucked in a deep breath. "You need to explain to me what's happening because I just teleported to another unknown dimension." 

"What do you mean?" You mother asked. 

"Stop. Don't act like you don't know about it." You opened the book in your hand and shower her the page with your father's image on it. "Why didn't you tell me about this?!" 

She gasped. "I didn't know you inherited it. Sit down, you might not have much time."

You did what she said, you waited for her as she disappeared upstairs and came back with a notebook in her hands. 

"Your father left this for you... Just in case." She handed you the book and looked at you with worried eyes. "Did you travel here on your own will?" 

"Yes." 

"T-then why don't you stay?" Her question made you question yourself too, you wanted to stay. But why can't you. "There's something pulling you back."

"I don't know what it is Mom, i want to stay here I really do, but-" She cut you off by placing her hands on your shoulders. 

"It's alright, I'll take care of everything." She placed a kiss on your forehead. "Now, go." 

With that, you were pulled back in the ship. Your ears ringing and your head felt like it was trapped in a rubble, you pushed yourself up from the floor of your room. 

And opened the notebook that's supposed to answer every single question that existed in your mind. 

-  
-  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't mind me taking time on writing more about her Powers, more Kylo on the next chapter (I think) 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter four.

You forgot about sleep and focused on your father's journal because it was the only thing that reminded you that you weren't insane. 

He wrote the rules and effects of your abilities, one of the things that you kept in mind is that when you teleport in a realm and stay there for less than a minute everything would still be the same when you back and time will not pass, however, if you spend more than a minute in that place time will resume. 

You managed to take a small nap before you were called by the Supreme Leader to go to the training room, you were tired but you knew that it wouldn't be an excuse since you felt like he as already doing you a favor by training you even if he goes on missions. When you entered the room, you were greeted by the usual silence.

"Sit," he instructed you, you nodded and sat beside him, copying his position as well. "You look exhausted."

"I am. Thanks for noticing." You sighed, you put the notebook down beside you on the floor.

"Where were you last night?"

"I went back to my 'world' and... I talked to my mom about stuff, it's not that important." you shrugged.

"It's bothering you." He said. "That's not going to be very helpful with what I'm teaching you today." He stood up as you stayed on the ground. He took the staff you worked with on your first day and threw it in your direction, this time you weren't able to catch it. 

You cursed under your breath as you picked it up, you pushed yourself up from the ground. 

"We're really doing this now?" You asked. 

"You need to gain your focus again." He stated. 

"And this is how you're planning to do it?" You whined, you already regret not sleeping at all. 

"Can we do something else?"

"Like what?" Kylo furrowed his eyebrows. You could see his frustration coming up. "I don't know, eat something?" Kylo scoffed at your suggestion.

"I'm serious."

He groaned in annoyance before nodding.

"Really?" you beamed at him widely.

"Yes, I'll have someone send us some food," Kylo replied, he looked at you for a moment, he couldn't help but let his lips curl up into a small smile as well, your effect on him is definitely uncontrollable. 

\----

You were om the floor, already digging in your food, you noticed that Kylo wasn't eating yet. 

"Why aren't you eating?" You asked once you swallowed the food in your mouth.

"I'll eat later." He said in a low voice. 

"Come on, I feel uncomfortable here just eating by myself while you're just standing there." He looked at you and rolled his eyes, you grinned at him and motioned for him to sit in front of you. "I've succeeded once again." 

"Just because I need you to focus." 

"So when am I like.. going to a fight with you guys?" You asked.

"When you've trained enough." He answered. 

"But-" 

"Can we just.. sit here in silence? Please?" He sighed for like the millionth time in the past hour. "You're very talkative." 

"Alright, I'm sorry." After that, you stopped talking like he asked, you just stole some glances at him as you ate, you couldn't help but admire his dark hair that fell on his shoulders. 

You felt comfortable around him, and you didn't know why. You've only just met him and knew so little about each other and yet you felt like you could trust him. Hell, you just talked to your work mate for the first time even if you've seen each other for years! 

Your eyes lingered to the notebook beside you and remembered what your mother said about something pulling you back, maybe your mother was the one that kept you dad in your world, and she was the reason why he stayed. You don't know a lot about him, mainly because he died when you were young and never actually got to know him. 

A few moment later both of your were finished with your meal, you rested for a while before you start with your training again. 

"Why can't we train with the force stuff? I mean, I've already learned enough about this whole defending myself thing. Can you still not use it on me?" 

"I can only use it on you if you let me, if you let your guards down." You nodded and then shrugged. 

"Can we practice with it?" You insisted. "I wanna know more about it before I go home."

"Go home?" Kylo furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Well, after I find out everything I know and do what I have to do." It wasn't like you missed it, it seemed like the only thing you'll miss about home is that you get to spend time with your mother. "It's not like I'll miss everything about it though, to be honest almost everything sucked back home." 

"What's it like there?" Kylo grew curious about your realm, and how different it was from his. "Peaceful?" 

"I wouldn't say it's peaceful. But it's beautiful, it could be so much more if only the people took more care of it." You picked up the notebook from the floor and looked through the pages. "I'm sorry If I have been.. very tiring to work with, my only explanation for it is because there was nothing like this back home, I think it would be more fun if I had... companions but I chose not to."

Kylo hummed in reply, then asked "Why not?"

"Most people out there aren't worth talking to, I wanted to find someone interesting." You said. "Then I found you, the scary and powerful Supreme Leader from outer space, who's actually a bit cute." He looked at you weirdly. 

"I've killed a lot of people and you think I'm cute." He scoffed. "I could kill you here already." 

To his surprise, you just laughed at him. "Alright, scary man." You twirled the staff around. "Let's get back to work." 

\----

That night, your whole body was sore and it felt like it was going to fall apart if you don't get some rest. You sat down your bed and took your shoes off, you thought about Kylo and how closed off he was. 

He barely smiled and if he did, it would be just a smirk, you realized that everyone was so afraid of him aside from you. But why weren't you? He already told you about how he could kill you in cold blood, but everytime you think of it... all you saw was someone so misunderstood. 

You rubbed your eyes and lied on your bed, you let out a breath and tried to relax. You were sure that the reason you were here was because of him, but why him? The supreme leader of the people who wants to take over the entire galaxy. 

You picked up your Dad's notebook, something that you wanted to focus on more. You looked for the last page you read and saw a small sketch of your mother's face in one of them, you smiled to yourself as you looked at it, your heart warmed as you thought of how they were so in love. 

Something you wished you could experience soon. 

-  
-  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? I wanted to add on how Kylo and Y/n aren't very close and aren't even friends yet, so that if ever they become close you could see the progress. 


	5. Chapter Five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo just a reminder that I'm not really following the plot accurately. And If I haven't mentioned it before, Star Wars doesn't exist in reader's world so...

CONTAINS A SPOILER FOR TROS. 

You've been in this place for a month, and everything just becomes so much harder. You watched as they destroyed planets, killed people, and you were scared. 

You were almost finished with your father's journal, there was a lot of important things you needed to learn. 

And those were the fact that you could only travel six times a year, which means you only have two more left until next year, if you do travel more than five times there will be a high chance that you'll die, so it's better to wait for a year than that, right?

There was also an unfinished note about how you could bring someone with you, the whole thing wasn't explained thoroughly, but one of the rules listed was that the person needed to be physically and mentally prepared for the trip, it never mentioned the consequences. 

You're currently practicing with him, with the force this time. It was a simple thing to do and yet here you were struggling to move a chair. 

"Just- focus!" You wanted to roll your eyes at him, " You've done it with me. Why can't you do it now?!" 

"Fuck, look I'm trying my best here." You dropped your hand. "This is not the only thing I'm trying to control! I'm not an expert at this like you are! So be a good friend and be supportive instead!" Kylo was baffled by what you called him, a friend? that was definitely not his intention for who you want his to be, but he shrugged it off hoping that it will change soon. 

"A scavenger can use it properly without any training, we've been doing this for a month, and it looks like you're learning nothing. I should have forced her to join me instead." 

You felt your cheeks burning up, and your heart drumming fast inside your chest. "Just give me more time-!" 

"I would. But you keep on acting like a little kid, and you're wasting time." He spat out. 

"Stop yelling at me and then maybe I can focus!" You raised your voice, which you rarely did even when you were on earth. "Control your temper for once!" 

He let out a frustrated yell, you ignore him and focused on the chair in front of you. It was floating, just slightly about the floor, you looked at Kylo before throwing the chair right beside him, the chair smashed against the wall and he just closed his eyes at the impact. 

"I work better without anyone yelling at me." You've already calmed down a bit, you sat down the floor and drank some water. 

"You work better when you let the anger flow through you." He corrected and you just rolled your eyes. 

"No no, anger's your thing..." you chuckled, and he unsurprisingly stayed quiet, "do we have anything else to do today? we've been here for a bit long, don't you have things to do?" 

"Hux will be taking care of everything today." He said. "You can leave if you want to, but if you still have time... I'd like to teach you something. It'll help you focus more with the force." 

He explained everything before you started, he told you to free yourself from your thoughts- which you thought was going to be hard and to let yourself go to the force. You let out a breath and closed your eyes hoping that you could do exactly what he said. 

A few moments later, you finally saw what he wanted you to see. 

Darkness, the light, death, and life, it felt like you were so far away and yet you could still feel his presence. You got an idea and focused on him, you were back at the room but it was like an out of body experience, you stood up from your position and walked over to him, his eyes were still focused on your meditating form. 

You could hear his heartbeat and his calm breathing, you've never actually looked at him in this view, he looked a bit peaceful but you could still feel the anger and hate from him, it was like it was a part of him. Without thinking, you placed your hand on his shoulder he must have felt your touch through the force because he looked at you like he could see you. 

You dropped your hand from his shoulder in surprise, you must've disappeared after that because his eyes wandered somewhere else, as if he was looking for you. But a hand grabbed your shoulder in return, pulling you into darkness before you dropped to a hard ground. 

"You do not belong here, child." You pushed yourself up and looked around, it was a very cold place and everything was so dark. "You will get in the way."

"Who are you?" You asked with a trembling voice. 

"You're so afraid, so weak." You felt pressure wrapping around your neck, you were lifted slightly on the ground and pulled forward, the next thing you knew you were facing a very pale man, or a monster... you didn't even know. The corners of his eyes were reddish, the deepened lines on his face were the ones that made him look so inhuman, his fingers- which looked like were disintegrating, slowly reached up to your cheek. 

"W-what do you want?" You stuttered, he chuckled a bit. 

"For you to leave, of course." 

"You can't make me." you sneered at him, you felt some sort of electricity on your cheek, making you shudder. 

"Oh, I will." He moved his hand from your cheek to your forehead, you were in the same place but this time Kylo was with you, but he was on the ground and motionless, his eyes were opened yet had no life in them. You dropped to your knees and held his ice-cold hands, he suddenly flinched awake, gasping for breath as he did so. He gripped your arm a bit too tight. 

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" His scream echoed through the whole place, you felt a slap burn your cheek and you were back in the training room. 

You were shaking, tears flowing down your cheeks. 

"What happened?" Kylo asked he was kneeling in front of you. "The darkness in you, it was so strong. Tell me what happened, Y/n." 

"I don't know." You let out a sob, Kylo finally noticed you how scared youwere and scaring you, even more, won't help, so he tried his best to comfort you. He knew he wasn't good with words, or with showing any kind of affection at all, he didn't know why it struck something in his when he saw you like this, even after all the prisoners he tortured, after all the people he killed. 

Kylo reached out for your trembling hand, it did make you feel a bit better about the whole thing since his hands weren't cold. Instead, it was warm probably because the glove kept it so, you looked at him with confused eyes. 

"It's alright. We'll talk about it when you've calmed down." his usually stern voice was soft and you found it comforting, another sign that he wasn't dead. 

"You're cute when you're soft Scary man." he wanted to say something back, probably an insult but shushed you instead. 

"Don't ruin it," He grumbled. 

"Oh, yeah of course. We're having a moment." He let out a huff, which was probably supposed to be a laugh, but he had to stay.. scary and all that mysterious shit. 

"You've let your guards down. I can hear your thoughts." Your face heated up. 

"Oh." 

\---- 

A few moments later you were in your quarters with Kylo, he thought that maybe you'd feel a bit more comfortable if you were in your room. So here you were sitting on your bed while Kylo is standing in front of you. 

"You're talking about Palpetine. And that he's back."

"I guess so... I also saw you d-dead. You were lifeless and then you were awake you told me that it was my fault, and that was it." You looked down on your hands. 

"We need to find him." You looked up at him. 

"I thought you were thinking the opposite." You whispered, you really didn't want to meet him anytime soon. "I barely know anything yet." 

"That's why you're going to train much harder, with the knights." You've heard of the knights before, but never actually met them, so there's finally something else to look up to. "And you're also going to be moved near my quarters, I need to keep a much closer eyes on you now. You should get some rest."

"Kylo?" You called out before he could start walking away, he silently waited for you to continue. "Thank you for today." 

He just nodded once and walked away, you looked at your arm and saw a small bruise forming, it was where 'Kylo' held you too tight, you didn't know much but you knew that you need to protect him, somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter six.

"Are you sure she's going to be useful?" One of the knights asked, they were all still wearing their helmets which you though was a bit unnecessary since they're going to train, and get sweaty. 

"Kylo brought her here, so she must be." The other replied, you rolled your eyes at how they spoke as if you weren't in the room, You arrived a bit early but Kylo still hasn't arrived yet. Luckily this training room had some benches, so you could finally sit in a proper chair. 

"I hope you haven't scared her away yet." A new voice said, you looked at the person who talked, they must be one of the knights as well. "The name's Vircul, pleasure to meet you." 

He raised his hand up for you to shake, you smiled a little, finally there was someone in the room a bit comforting. 

"Y/n." You took his hand, the doors opened again and Kylo walked in. Vircul dropped your hand and stood up straight as Kylo approached them. Kylo took off his mask slowly, distracting you from what he was explaining to his Knights. 

Since yesterday, you haven't been able to keep him off your mind. His hair, his lips, you were wondering if you've actually developed a small crush on the person. But of course, that would be a bad idea. 

"Y/n will be training with you, since I will not be able to for the next few days." Your name being mentioned made you regain your focus on the conversation.

"Where are you going?" You asked. 

"Away." He simply said, you frowned at him but didn't push it. "I hope you'll be in your best behavior." 

"Yeah, sure." He pulled out something and raised it to your direction. 

"This is a datapad, you can contact me through it but just for emergencies. Understand?" You snatched it away from his grasp and looked at it for a few moments before nodding. 

"Yeah, sure. I hope this is easy to operate since, it looks a lot like a phone." You looked up from it to Kylo. "Thanks." 

"That will be all." He put on his mask and turned away. 

"Wait! You're leaving already?" You asked, you could feel the Knight's surprise at your words. 

"Yes, is there a problem?" 

"Nothing, just- take care of yourself.... Scary man." He nodded and left. 

"You call him that regularly?" One of the knights asked, you nodded as a response. 

"How is she not dead yet?" 

\----

After that, you were moved to another room, that one that's supposed to be near Kylo's. Vircul offered to help you move your things but you told him that it won't be necessary since you didn't have a lot of stuff anyways. 

As soon as you arrived at your new room you immediately noticed that the room was a bit more smaller than the other, probably because it was near their Supreme Leader's room and no one would ever stay that close to him. 

You sat down the bed and browsed through the datapad Kylo gave you, you realized that it wasn't the same as a usual tablet, so you had trouble going through it. Finally, you saw an icon that looked like it was used for messages. 

You clicked on it and saw one contacts saved, it must be Kylo's. You smiled a bit and typed. 

"Hello." You hit send, you waited for a few minutes for a reply but didn't get any, you didn't really expect him to reply fast since he was... Away. 

You stood up and walked out of your room with the datapad in your hand, just to get a look around and get familiar with the new place, you ended up in the old training room the knights were probably still in the new one so you figured that you can train here alone. 

You picked up a staff from the rack, ot was different from the one you usually used, you gripped it with two hands and swayed it around a little, pretending like you were in a fight with someone. 

You practiced the moves that Kylo taught you, until you felt someone else's presence in the room, you turned around and saw the girl from Kylo's memory, the scavenger. 

You stared at her with surprise, you knew that she wasn't really here, but how?

"Who are you?" She asked. 

"T-that's none of your concern." You gripped the staff tighter, as if you were ready to attack her. 

"Why is the force connecting us?" She asked as if you knew the answer. 

"Trust me, I have no idea." You pressed your lips together. 

"Tell me who you are." She asked again. "And maybe we'll find out." 

You looked into her eyes, and all you saw was the person Kylo called Palpetine, in his throne, with thunder crashing in your ears. 

You opened your mouth to say something but she was gone, you put the staff back on the rack and went back to your room, the datapad buzzed in your hands. You turned it on and saw that Kylo replied. 

"I told you to contact me for emergencies only." 

You typed in your reply. 

"I wanted to figure out how the works." 

"Don't make this a habit." He replied, knowing that he's going to recieve a lot of messages from you. 

"Don't worry, Scary man. I won't." You hit send and didn't get any reply back, you were too distracted by the conversation that you didn't realize you already arrived at you room. 

You took off your shoes and lied down your bed and let out a sigh, you closed your eyes and let sleep take over. 

\----

"...I have been every voice, you have ever heard, inside your head." 

You woke up with a gasp, sweat trickling down your face. You sat up and tried to calm yourself from the dream you just had. 

Once you finally got to get control of your breathing you reached to your datapad and saw that you woke up just in time for the training with the Knights. You took a quick shower before making your way to the training room. 

Once you entered, some of the knights were already sparring. With their helmets off this time. 

"Ah, Ms. Y/n." Vircul said, you recognized his voice from yesterday. "Just sit there for a while."

You nodded and sat on one of the benches and watched them fight, once they finished they all made their way to you. 

"You know how to fight?" One of them asked. 

"Yes, of course."

"Show us what you can do, You'll be partnered up with Karuk." Vircul nodded to the direction of a blonde man. "You have any weapon with you?" 

You shook your head no. 

Someone threw you a sword you would have never been able to catch it if you didn't you the force to slow it down as it landed in your hands. 

"C-can we just use a staff or something?" You stared at the weapon in your hands. 

"You're working with Kylo." Kuruk reminded you. "Come on." 

Everything started out smoothly, until he charged with a lit of energy, Kuruk didn't take it easy like Kylo did. 

You were loosing, and that happened for several times before you couldn't take the hits anymore. 

"Defend yourself!" Kuruk yelled before raising his sword up, your sword was forced out of your hands and you dropped to the ground in order to not get hit. "Prove yourself!" 

"I knew you were weak." Kuruk sneered. "I wonder what Kylo saw in you." 

You glared up at him. 

"That's enough, Kuruk!" Someone yelled. Vircul helped you up. 

"What?! The Supreme Leader hasn't been able to focus on his responsibilities more because of this....worthless scum, " He growled at you, it fueled your anger even more. 

"She can do better." Vircul defended you. 

"Prove it." You picked up your sword and walked towards him, you were nervous, you were sure everyone in the room could hear your heart drumming inside your chest. 

Before he could raise his sword up to attack it was already pulled out from his hands. You raised your hand up, he was lifted up from the ground and started gasping for breath. 

"I have nothing to prove to you." You dropped your hand and so did he, you realized what just happened and looked at the knights behind you and back to Kuruk. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." 

"Use that anger next time." Kuruk said before walking away. You walked back to sit at the bench and drank your water, Vircul sat beside you with the usual kind smile.

"You know you look like you don't belong here." You said, he frowned at you. "No, not like that... It's just you seem friendly and not all serious like the others." 

"It's nice to be a bit different, you see Ushar there?" He lifted his index finger from his cup and pointed at the man with a scar on his neck. "Don't go near him too much if he's not the first one to approach you. He gets a bit protective over his personal space." 

"Hmm, he looks like it." He chuckled at your response. "So, is Kylo usually closed off to you guys?" 

"Kylo's closed off to everyone, he doesn't show any emotions aside from when he's angry, you know?" 

"I don't know about that, he occasionally smiles, and sometimes even chuckle." You grin at the memory of his smile. "It's one hell of a smile too."

"You must be so special to him." You took a big sip from your water. "You also sound like you like him, by the way which is.... Weird." 

"Weird? How? Because he's the Supreme Leader of the first order and plans to take over the whole galaxy?" You laughed. 

"Exactly!" He said. "Hey, wanna go to lunch later? We're not going to the cafeteria of course, we have our own place to eat." 

"I didn't know there was a cafeteria in this place. It sounds great but I'm afraid they won't be happy about that. I also need to set up my room.." You knew those were all excuses, but you really didn't feel very comfortable around them. 

"Alright, suit yourself." 

After more practicing, you were finally allowed to go back to your room to get some rest before training again later, you managed to eat the food that was brought for you before the girl showed up again.

"Oh gosh, Is this going to happen everyday?" You rolled your eyes. 

"I don't control it." She said "But there must be a reason, don't you want to find out?" 

"I already have a lot of things in my mind." 

"But-" She was cut off by your doors opening, a trooper walked in informing you that the Knights are already back from their break.

"You're with the first order!" The bond was cut off. 

"Ma'am?" The stormtrooper repeated. 

"Yes, I'll be right there." You said to him.

-  
-  
-

A/N: I added a little Captain Marvel quote there, I hope you saw it lol. Watch out for more Marvel references! 

I hope you liked it! 

Let me know what you think about Vircul 👀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I added a little Captain Marvel quote there, I hope you saw it lol. Watch out for more Marvel references! 
> 
> I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Let me know what you think about Vircul 👀
> 
> Also, about the comments on the other chapters, I'm sorry about my weird replies I don't know how comments work here and thought that every comment was on the first chaoter, so if I replied with "I just posted chaoter four!" Even if you just commented on chaoter four.... Excuse my stupidity, please.


	7. Chapter seven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the fun begins I guess?

It took Kylo two days before to come back, you haven't really talked to any of the knights aside from Vircul.

When Kylo arrived he barely talked to you, he was doing so meetings almost all the time, and if not he would be looking for a thing called a Sith Wayfinder.

Everytime the girl appeared you pretended that she wasn't there at all, of course she would try her best to get you to talk to her but you thought it would be safer that way. You couldn't help but meet her gaze though.

"Kylo said you'd be coming with us on the field." Vircul said, he was joined you on your walk around the ship. "Are you prepared for it?"

"The field? But I'm not yet ready." Of course you can beat up some guys here and there after all those.... Intense training with the knights but on the field? Hell no.

"Kylo says you are."

"Yeah well Kylo is wrong-" You were cut off by Vircul.

"Supreme Leader." Your blood ran cold as you turned to the person who blocked your way.

"I was wrong about what?" You felt like you should be scared, reason number one is because the troopers behind Kylo walked away from him, and two, Vircul just became a statue beside you.

"That I'm ready to go out there, I could barely use the force properly. Yesterday I accidentally threw Vir against the wall." You pointed your thumb to the Knight beside you.

"You're still going out there, you need to learn." Kylo said, you could barely hold back yourself from telling him to take off his mask. "Show me what you can do later in the training room."

He walked past you and Vircul without waiting for your reply.

"I am honestly surprised you're not dead yet." Vircul said as you continued walking. "Teach me your ways."

You laughed at him, "He does get mad at me though, but he doesn't do anything... He just yells, like a little kid." You giggled at the thought.

"You like him don't you?" Vircul asked in a low voice.

"Of course I like him, he's cool and can sometimes be a softie."

"No, as in you have a crush on him." When you didn't answer, Vircul got it. "You really like him don't you? I understand though, He's intimidating and has the looks."

"Right, you caught me." You sighed, "Just don't mention it to the others okay?" He nodded and zipped his lips, throwing the invisible key away.

"We need to go now."

\----

You watched as Kylo fought with his Knight, his movement always so graceful even when he fought, he wasn't afraid to use actual weapons even if sometimes the blade grazed on his side. 

"What did you like about him?" Vircul asked beside you, startling you as well. 

"Don't do that you sneaky asshole. Why are you asking anyways?" He just shrugged but still waited for your answer. "Like you said, He... has the looks."

"And?"

"He can be this totally different person, he gives the best hugs-"

"He hugs?" you nodded at him. "Man, I've never imagined him hugging someone, if he did it would be death hugs." You laughed at him again, although you could really see why he thought that. "Are you ever going to tell him?"

"Hell no, his soft hugs might become death hugs. And you know I don't have a chance with him, you know Supreme Leader and all. Besides, it's just a crush nothing serious." Vircul hummed in reply, he was later on called by Cardo to train with him, and his seat was taken by Kuruk. 

"You've been sitting there long enough, come on." He stood up again and you followed him, you really didn't want to train today since your nightmares have been eating up your sleep, giving you a headache when you wake up, Kuruk gave you a double sided blade this time. "You don't need to prove yourself to me, but he's here now."

You stared at him blankly, "So? His presence needs to mean something to me?"

"Yes." Kuruk said and started to attack, you blocked his attacks at first before getting back at him, you didn't really know how to use the weapon you have and you were also afraid that you might hurt yourself. He recovered from your attacks quickly and took his chance to try ans take away the weapon from you. 

His blade cut the side of your shoulder, and blood started poring out slowly. You thought he was done, but he didn't stop attacking you. "I'm starting to think you want to kill me." 

"I want you to do better." He replied and lowered his blade to graze his blade on your leg. You gritted your teeth, your eyes wandered behind him and saw Kylo's eyes on you with furrowed eyebrows and a slight pout on his lips. You sighed and tried to steady yourself as you went back to blocking his attacks. 

"I think that's enough, Kuruk." You heard Vircul behind you. "She's hurt."

"Use the force, Y/n. Call to it!" You tried to do what Kuruk said but you could barely focus on him, our arm and leg was throbbing from pain, and you were sure you were making scratched on yourself with the weapon you were using. 

"Shit, can we stop for bit?" You asked. 

"You don't stop in a fight."

"We're training, goddamnit." You groaned, putting all your strength to your attacks, your legs finally gave out. 

"Kuruk." Kylo said in a warning tone, but he didn't listen. "Kuruk!" Kylo's voice echoed throughout the training room, then he finally stopped. Kylo walked over to you and helped you stand up.

"Oh thank god, my arms feels like they're going to disintegrate." You panted, you met Kylo's gaze and you smiled at him. 

"All of you will get some rest, your skills are needed tomorrow." Kylo says, "everyone is dismissed." 

The knights nodded and picked their belongings before leaving, you were just doing the same before Kylo called your name. 

"Yes?" You turned around to face him. 

"Make sure to go to the med bay." He said. 

"It's just a small cut, I'll take care of it myself. Thank you." You gave him another smile before leaving. 

When you went back to your room you took a shower and tried to relax yourself for a bit, but when you walked out there was a nurse with her kit in your room. 

"The Supreme Leader sent me here, to properly help you with your wounds." You nodded at her, "You can put on your clothes first ma'am." 

You did what she said before laying down your bed, you watched as she put on the bandages on your shoulder and your side after cleaning them properly. 

"Thank you." You said to her, she just bowed her head before leaving.

When she left you decided to give your mother a visit, which meant you can't make any trips anymore until next year. 

When you got back there was a message on your datapad, It was Kylo saying that he was outside your quarters. You cursed to yourself as you realized that it was sent ten minutes ago. 

You hurried to open the door, and there he was. "Sorry to keep you waiting, I just went to my mom." 

"It's fine." You both stood there awkwardly before you offered for him to go inside, "No, no I just wanted to see if you're alright."

"Oh, well I'm still breathing." You joked, although you didn't expect him to laugh. "Is there anything else..?"

"Uhm.. I- I had a vision, when i touched your hand. back at the training room." He swallowed a lump on his throat as if he was afraid to tell you about it. "You were in pain, and I was there. I couldn't do anything about it."

"Are you scared that's going to happen?" His grumpy face quickly returned. 

"I'm not scared, I simply wanted to inform you about it." You gave him a smirk. 

"Right, You waited here for ten minutes just to tell me that?" You teased. "Or did you want to give me a goodnight kiss?" 

Your own words surprised you, you didn't know where all the confidence came from, it was his turn to grin at you now, he crouched down a little bit and moved closer to your face until you could feel his breath against your skin. 

"goodnight, Y/n." You stared at his eyes for a bit before clearing your throat and backing away. 

"goodnight." 

\----

The next day, you were given an armor which was uncomfortable but it felt safe anyways. You were given a simple sword and a blaster which was on your belt, you boarded the ship everyone was on and sat beside the knights. 

When you landed, you realized that you would be on an actual planet for a while, before you got out of the ship Kylo instructed that you stay with him, you followed everything he said without complaining. 

You were inside this dark cave, you had a bad feeling about the whole thing but you were probably just nervous about the whole thing. you gripped on the handle of your blade tightly as Kylo lead the way. 

"Stop." Kylo whispered. "There's something wrong here." 

"What do you mean 'there's something wrong here'?" You whispered back, your blood ran cold as a blaster fired at your direction, barely missing the side of your face. 

"Take cover." Kylo dragged you with him behind a wall, he pulled out his lightsaber and turned it on, you could barely see anything else but its red glow. "Just stay behind me." 

You nodded, and pulled out your blaster instead of your sword, thankfully, Vircul taught you how to use it inside the ship. Kylo walked forward and you followed him, he deflected the shots with his lightsaber and used the force to throw the others out of the way. While you shot at whoever you could see. 

"It's an ambush." You told him. "We need to warn the others."

"We need to get out of here first." Kylo groaned out in pain as a blast hit his shoulder, You both went back to your cover as they continued shooting, You chewed the inside of your cheek, trying to think of something. You thought about travelling back to earth, but you've already used your two remaining trips, you looked at Kylo beside you and realized that there was nothing else you could do. 

"Kylo." You raised your voice for him to hear.

"What?" He replied. 

"Do you trust me?" He was about to ask what for, until he noticed the seriousness in your eyes. 

"Of course." You sighed in relief and took his hand in your trembling ones, you pulled him close to you and closed your eyes, and you were gone in a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I do that cliffhanger right?
> 
> Your feedback always means a lot to me!


	8. Chapter eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's more of a filler :/

You gasped for breath as soon as you arrived, you didn't know where you were because everything was blurry and all you saw was Kylo looking at you worriedly. He shouted something that you couldn't understand, it felt like you were underwater.

Then finally, your mother came to the view, after a few minutes of unbearable pain a pillow was slipped under your head. You felt a needle being injected into your arm, you lifted your head up to look at it only to pass out the moment you did so.

"Is she going to be alright?" Kylo asked your mother.

"I hope she will be, travelling that much in a year requires so much energy, let alone bring a person along." You mother says to him. "Help me get her to the living room."

Kylo followed what your mother said and carried you in his arms as she lead him to the living room, he motioned to the couch for him to put you down. Once he did, he let his hand linger on your face, wiping away the dirt on your cheek.

"You must be close to her." The older woman said, Kylo stood up straighter. "She risked so much for you,"

"And I'm grateful." He replied.

\----

It took you a day before you woke up, and Kylo was there by your side.

"Does anything hurt?" He asked, "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm okay. Are we in my room?" He nodded. "I'm sorry for bringing you here, I didn't know what to do-"

"You did what you had to do," he cut you off. "I'm going to tell you mother that you're awake."

He left the room, you tried to sit up since it felt like your whole body was paralyzed, once you were comfortable a girl appeared in front of you.

"You look like you're dying." She said. "You feel so distant."

When you didn't answer she grew frustrated. "Answer me for once, I'm here to help."

"What do you want me to say?" You snapped at her. "Expose all the plans the first order has?"

"I want us to help each other, you have good in you, Y/n. And you don't belong there." Before you could answer, the door opened and the connection broke.

"Are you feeling cold?" Your mother asked you, Kylo stayed behind her.

"A bit."

"That's normal, you're too much like your father. Risking their lives for the people they..." She glanced at Kylo before continuing with a whisper. "...Love."

"Mom." You frowned at her, "His shoulder was hurt, have you checked?"

"Yes, It's all good." Kylo answered, "I must repay you for your hospitality.... Once we get back."

"You don't have to, you've taken care of my daughter in that world, Ben." You were confused by the use of his real name but you didn't ask.

"When can we go back?"

"Go back? I'm sure you won't be able to travel for a year, or else something worse might happen." You should've known what her answer was going to be, it was in your father's journal after all. "I'll get you something warm, stay right here."

She walked out and silence grew in the room.

"Don't stress about going back too much," Kylo broke the silence.

"But what about Palpetine? The first order?"

"It's alright." He whispered.

\-----

The next day, you were able to walk around the house, you helped Ben settle in the room he's staying in, your mother went out to buy a couple of clothes for him to wear.

"You look good," You complimented him, he just gave you a small smile which disappeared quickly. "It's dinnertime, come on."

It was silent the whole time, thankfully your mom wasn't going to allow it become more awkward.

"What did you do back in your world?" She asked Kylo.

"Uhm.." he gave you a glance, a sign for you to help him, you gave him a look saying that you didn't know what to say. "I'm- I'm a... a Radar Technician in the Fi-"

You widened your eyes at him and he quickly changed what he was going to say. "-Resistance."

Your mother's eyebrows shot up at the mention of the name. "The resistance?" She turned her head to you. "Your father used to help out there, I met... Some friends there once, you know when your dad brought me."

She continued her story, "There was a woman their, I've forgotten her rank but her name was Leia. A wonderful woman." You looked at Kylo who continued to eat his meal but you sensed his unease about the topic. "I was pregnant with Y/n, and then she said that she was special, and wished that His son could meet you, And now I know what she was talking about." She shook her head at the though and chuckled.

"I forgot to tell you that I quit your job for you... Is that alright?" You nodded at her, "Your things from your apartment are also going to be moved here."

"That's great, thank you."

Once you all finished with your meal, you cleaned the plates and went to Kylo's room when you finished. You knocked on his door before letting yourself in.

"I'm sorry about mom, she's a bit talkative when there's another person in the house." He was sitting on the bed with his back facing you, so you didn't really know what his reaction was.

"She's fine.." You barely heard his reply, you walked closer to him and put your hand on his shoulder. "It's tearing me apart."

"What is?"

"All of it." He simply said, you sat down beside him. "I just realized that you can't use the force here and the lightsaber doesn't work."

If the force didn't work here how are you still connected with Rey?

"Oh, right. I have something for you." You pulled out an Ipod and some earphones. "Something I missed having when I was back in your world."

You taught him how to play the songs and everything he needed to do with it, you put one earphone on your ear and searched for a song he might like.

"Listen." You gave him the other pair and he put it in his ear, "Do you like it?"

He chuckled and nodded.

You smiled back at him, your eyes met and you couldn't look away from them, you felt him moving closer, until your lips were just a few inch away from each other.

Then he moved his head away so his lips met your cheek instead, "Thank you for today, Y/n."

You cleared your throat and pulled the earphone away from you before standing up from the bed. "G-goodnight."

You basically ran out of the room as fast as your heart was beating, you kept on reminding yourself that you had more things to take care of, and tried not to let a simple kiss distract you from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to add some fluff between Kylo and Y/n.
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	9. Chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluffy Kylo

You woke up in the middle of the night because the girl decided to show up again. You tried to pretend that you were still asleep even if you knew that she knows you're very much awake. 

"Look," she started. "I don't need you to answer back, just listen to my intentions, please. I can feel the light strong in you, and I don't want Kylo to take that away like Snoke did with him... I tried to take Ben back, at first I thought I could but there's always something keeping everyone from doing so." 

She paused for a moment, thinking of the next words she's about to say. "I don't want to give up on him, and I figured that If I can help you then maybe we can help him together, bring him back to the light." 

"How long did you try?" You asked her, she kept her mouth shut. "Not long? I guess you shut him out completely after that too?" 

You sat up to look at her, "Rey, I know you have good intentions but you can't change a person so easily, in fact people don't really change at all, people loose their way all the time and so easily, but guiding them back will always take time." 

"Then what do you want me to do? Wait until he destroys the rest of what's left in the resistance and wait for him to realize what he's done and come back?!" She raised her voice, her eyebrows were curled together and she grew more irritated. 

"What you said just made me realize that you want to save the resistance, not Ben Solo." You said, her eyes widened and her lips parted but nothing came out, realization hit her but the everything was cut off before she could even explain. 

You lied down on your bed again and tugged the blanked to cover your shoulders, you closed your eyes but your sleepiness was long gone. You groaned in annoyance and decided to get out of your room. 

\----

You put together random snacks for yourself, and scrolled through your phone for something to watch it took you a while to find something but you ended up with 'The Good Place.' anyways, you were halfway through the first episode when someone spoke behind you. 

"Why are you still up?" The drink in your hand splashed everywhere when you flinched, you turned around and saw Kylo behind you. 

"I just woke up and then realized I was hungry, so..." You lied, "Why are you awake?"

"Uh.. same thing?" He scrunched up his nose and walked closer to sit beside you on the floor. 

"Well, I'm glad I'm not alone." You smirked at him, "here, have some." 

You handed him the tray of snacks, he studied the whole thing before finally picking up a chip. "What're you watching?" 

"A new show, wanna watch with me?" He nodded, you rewind the whole thing from the start. Since you have watched most of it you spent the whole time stealing glances at him as he remained focused on your phone. 

"Is there something on my face? Why are you staring at me?" He turned his head to look at you with furrowed eyebrows, your cheeks heated up when you realized that your small glances turned into a full on creepy stare.

"N-no, you're perfect- I mean there's nothing on your face don't worry." You gave him a nervous smile before turning your head away from him in embarrassment, you didn't know what was happening to you but it definitely felt like a high school crush. 

You went back on watching the show hoping that Kylo had forgotten the fact that you literally called him 'perfect.' even you cringed at yourself by just thinking of it. 

"You're the Chidi I'm the Eleanor." He mumbled as you finished the fifth episode, you laughed at his comment.

"What? I don't remember teaching you ethics and all that kind of stuff." You joked, he gave you a small smile back. 

"But you're making me... Better." Your face softened when he said that, your remember what Rey said about helping each other bring him back. "You're looking at me weird again." 

"I'm sorry it's just you're-" 

"It's fine." He cut you off, "What I meant by better was that I've never felt comfortable with anyone before until you suddenly appeared out of nowhere." 

"Is that a compliment? Are you turning soft on me? What happened to 'The force is strong with you, we'll rule the whole galaxy! mwahahaha!'". You mimicked his deep voice when you quoted him. 

"Do you like me like that?" 

"I like you for you." 

\----

You both ended up falling asleep, but it wasn't the normal head on each other's shoulders like one of those rom-coms, Kylo's face was resting on the pillow he was hugging and your head was on the sofa, you were both still sitting on the floor but you were too tired to be uncomfortable. 

When morning came, Kylo woke up first, he was about to wake you but your mother stopped him. 

"Don't wake her this early, she'll yell at you and be in a bad mood all day." She warned him, Kylo just nodded and stood up from the floor taking the empty tray with him when he walked to the kitchen. 

"Is she going to be alright on the floor?" He asked your mother.

"Probably not." Kylo sighed and lifted you up to place you on the couch, creating a barrier with the pillow so you won't fall off. "I'm glad you're here to help me take care of her, you don't know how stubborn she is." 

"... I think I do." He mumbled to himself, his mind wandering to your training back at his world. He went to help your mother to prepare breakfast, she told him that she had to leave soon for work so he'd be the one watching over you. 

Kylo had just placed the food on the plate when he heard a small thud, he rushed to the living room immediately to see what happened and he what he saw was you on the ground with shock on your face. 

"Uh.." You pushed yourself up and tried to fix yourself, "Good morning?" 

"I'm glad you're up." Kylo said to you before retreating back to the kitchen to put the plates on the table. 

"I see you learned how to cook already?" You followed him and raised your brows. 

"You mother did most of the things, I just put everything together." He explained, and sat down on the dining table, you copied his actions and you both started eating. 

An uncomfortable silence grew, and only the sound of your spoons and forks hitting the plate were heard. The though of bring Kylo back to the light invaded your mind, you didn't know if you should do it, was it a good thing? light is always good, right? 

But what did you know about it? Did you even learn enough from just reading? 

Your eyes met Kylo and you cleared your throat before looking away. 

"What're you thinking about?" He asked. 

"I just-" you tried to decide if you should tell him or not but your mouth acted faster than your mind did. "I- I talked to.. the girl?" 

"What girl?" His voice suddenly grew deeper in interest. 

"You know... Rey?" You looked at him awkwardly, "through the force." 

"But the force doesn't work here." He stated. 

"I know, maybe it's because of my abilities? I'm some kind of-" 

"-bridge." He finished for you, "My.. mother used to tell me a story about them, a person who connects all the universes, I didn't think it was going to be you." 

"What do you mean it you didn't think it was me? I told you about it a lot of times, you even asked me questions about it." You dropped your spoon and fork on the plate and glared at him. 

"Let's just say i thought it was your... Imagination?" He said lowly as if he was afraid to say it. "But I believe you now, after all this.." 

"Yeah, riiighhht." You scoffed before starting to eat again. The both of you didn't really want to talk about it again so you just started another conversation a few moments later. 

"You've never really seen how it is outside, do you want to walk around later?" You offered him. 

"Of course." He answered. 

When you finished your meal you told him to take a shower and change his clothes before you leave. And when you did, you both walked around the block, it also felt like a tour for you since it's been a while since you came back here. 

You met by some people who was close to your mother, you just greeted them and continued to walk, not really wanting to chat. 

You passed by the park you used to play on when you were a kid, this was where you met your now- distant best friend, your mother brought you here after school when you were young hoping that it would help you interact with people. 

You and Kylo sat on the bench and watched the children play. 

"Everyone's so peaceful here, and happy." He said beside you. 

"Kylo?" You called for his attention. "Have you ever thought about returning to your mother?" 

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I've done horrible things, but I found my own way in the dark side, and it welcomed me." He turned his head away to look at the people again. 

"Why isn't there a neutral side? Like from the show we watched last night? Where you're just somewhere in the middle. Not good not bad, just right." 

"There are Gray Jedi-" you cut him off. 

"No, there will be no such thing as Jedi or Sith or whatever.. You'll just be a force user out of the fight, just living like this." You motioned to the people. 

"It's suburban yet it's still happy." You looked at Kylo with seriousness in your eyes. "Why can't we just stay?" 

\----

A/N: This book doesn't have proper angst yet so watch out  
(☞ ಠ_ಠ)☞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! I'd love to hear what you think! Feel free to tell me what to change about his character, I know he's a getting a bit too fluffy but don't worry, I have plans!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter! Sorry for not updating for so long!

Kylo stared at you in silence, your eyes showed pure seriousness making his heart beat faster in his chest.

"I can't..." He whispered. "Not while Palpetine's still alive." You looked down on your feet, you should have seen his answer coming.

"I understand." The walk back to your house was filled with awkward silence, you barely noticed it since your mind was occupied with thoughts. You opened the door to your house, you were surprised to see your mother with a man in a fancy suit.

"Y/n!" You mother greeted. "We've been waiting for you, do you remember him? He was your father's friend."

You looked at the man before shaking your head. "...no, I'm afraid I don't."

"I wouldn't be surprised, you were so little the last time I saw you." The man smiled at you sweetly. "I'm Tony, from Stark Industries."

"Nice to meet you, sir." You gave his hand a firm shake.

"He's here to help, he has the same ability as you do." Your mother said.

"You're here to..?" You asked.

"Bring your friend back, yes." He grinned. "It's been a while since I travelled."

"When do we go?" Your eyes lit up

".. It's just going to be me and your friend, you can't travel yet. Remember?"

"I thought it was just for her ability to cool down-" He cut Kylo off.

"The body and the ability both needs to rest. Or else there's a huge chance you'll go crazy or maybe you'll loose half of your body while traveling." He gave you a sad smile before looking back at Kylo behind you, "I hope you understand."

You looked sadly. "Of course, just.. take him back safely."

"Great!" Tony clapped his hands excitedly, "Say your goodbyes, we're going tonight. I'll come back later." He trailed off and your mother escorted him outside.

You felt Kylo grab your hand, making him earn your attention. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes, you sat down on the couch and he copied your action, silence filled the air and no words were said.

You mother came back, muttering something about how she needs to get back to work, you barely even listened, your mind was filled with panic and bad thoughts. What if something bad happens when He gets back? what if he can't fight Palpetine alone?

"You can always come back, when you get your abilities returns." He offered.

"I have to wait months for it." You groaned.

"Be patient. I know that isn't really your thing but it's better than cutting you body in half." He tried to lighten up the mood, you gave him a forced smile in return. He stood up from the couch and walked over to you, he offered you his hand which you took.

You gripped his arm and pulled him close, hugged him tightly and inhaled his scent. "Y/n..."

"Hm?" you asked for him to continue.

"I..." He hesitated, you felt him gripping the back of your shirt. You pulled away but his arms stayed around your waist. His eyes were filled with so much emotion, and even after staring at them for so long, you've never seen them this way.

"What is it?" You raised your eyebrows at him, he lifted one of his hands up to brush your hair away and tuck it behind your ear. "Kylo?"

Your whole body was stiff as he leaned in closer, your heart drumming inside your chest and your hands were starting to sweat. Everything felt so slow but soon, you felt his lips pressed against yours.

The world disappeared around you, for a moment it was just you and him. When his lips met yours he finally knew where he belonged, and where he was supposed to be, you became his home.

The moment ended when you both pulled away, but the emotions you felt will stay permanent.

"I'll wait for you."

A/n : I'm afraid it's not angsty enough, There's more angst to comeee!


	11. Chapter 11

You felt coldness rush through your body as they got ready to leave, your eyes met Kylo's you gave him a sad smile. This is it, you won't see him again for a long time.

"Alright, I'll see you in a sec." Tony gave us a grin before they completely disappeared, a minute passed before he appeared again. Alone this time.

"You didn't tell me you were friends with Leia's son.... Who lead the first order?" Tony said as soon as he got back. "Almost got myself killed if it wasn't for her."

"What?" You asked, you thought Kylo would be back at the First Order. "Where did he ask you to take him?"

"The resistance base." You lips parted as a soft gasp escaped them, you never thought that would be the place he would go to, but Kylo was full of unexpected things.

"Thank you." You smiled at him.

"Well, I promised your dad some stuff." He chuckled before walking past you and patted your shoulder along the way.

You stayed at the backyard for a while, staring at the empty space where he used to be. You flinched when a person appeared in front of you.

"You managed to bring him back." She says. "How?"

"It was all him, I had nothing to do with it." You cleared out.

"Why didn't you go with him?" You tried not to roll your eyes at her, she had way too many questions.

"Apparently, I need to recharge. It'll be a while but I can make my way back there soon, for now just keep him safe." You turned around to walk away but she spoke again.

"He's planning to go to Palpetine." You inhaled a deep breath before turning to look at her again. 

"Are you going to let him go?"

"W-well we don't trust him yet, General Leia's keeping him away in a secure room." You nodded slowly, you wondered how their reunion happened, or what Kylo felt.

"I'm sure Palpetine's already controlling the first order now, I'm also guessing you already have plans to stop him?"

"Even if we have everything perfectly planned out our defense still isn't enough." She says.

"You have the force, that's apparently what this shit's all about right?" You turned around, finally feeling her presence disappear.

\-----

You laid down your bed and pulled your blanket over your head, you already told yourself that you were done being sad about him leaving and you weren't planning to cry more.

He was back at the resistance.

He's safe for now.

So your mind began to be devoured with thoughts, thinking about how all of this started and why it even happened to you in the first place.

Did you regret it? Maybe? You didn't really want to be in the middle of all this but when your mind wanders back to Kylo, you won't even change a thing.

Kylo Ren or Ben Solo, no matter who he is or was he still completed you, maybe you didn't need an explanation for it after all.

It's just fate doing their job.


	12. Chapter 12

The rest of the month passed by in a blur, you finally found another job which kept you busy enough to forget about him even just a bit. You also explained everything to your mother and she absorbed everything you said calmly. 

Your work isn't as boring as your last one, because this time you were working at Stark Industries, despite working for Tony he still helped you speed up the process of gaining your abilities back. 

The bad thing was your connection with Rey had been cut off, no more surprise visits and news about Kylo. 

But you still felt him, the remaining thread of your connection through the force reminded you that he was still there, waiting and hoping you'd come back soon. That was the reason why you still haven't given up. 

"Y/n, you're going to be late for work." said your mother. "are you sure you don't want me to drive you there?"

"I can walk." you reassured her, "I'll see you tonight!" you called out before exiting the door and closing it behind you, the sun was extra hot today since there were no clouds to block it. You were entering a coffee shop to drink some coffee on the way to work when coldness washed through your body like a wave. 

You felt your eyes roll back as your legs turned into jelly, you expected your body to hit the ground but a pair of arms caught you. 

"Are you alright ma'am?" You blinked a couple of times to regain your composure. 

"Yeah.. thanks for catching me, felt like my whole body just shut down." You let out a laugh, you noticed the cup of coffee on the ground and his stained shirt. "Oh! I'm sorry about your drink, let me buy you another one!" 

"Uhhh... no need I-" 

"I feel bad, please let me buy you another cup." He sighed in defeat and nodded. "What's your name?" 

"Steve Rogers." He said. 

"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you." You said with a smile, you went to buy his and your coffee, and then after that you apologized to him again and continued walking to work. "

"You're late again." Your co-worker said.

"I'm sorry, I ran into this guy and I needed to replace his drink." You put your bag down on your desk and started going through your work. 

"Ooh, was he cute?" You thought back on his features, blonde hair, blue eyes, he looked like the opposite of Kylo. 

"Looked like he was straight out of a comic book." You chuckled. 

As you were working and chatting, Tony walked over to you, "Y/n, need to talk to you about something, come with me." 

You nodded and stood up from your chair to follow him, you entered his office which had the big window and had the greatest view in the whole building. 

"Here." He handed you a watch looking device. "It's supposed to track which word you're in and-"

"Where did you even get this?" You asked. 

"We have more travelers in this world and some of them just happened to work along with me." He explained. "Anyways, it's going to track and check your vitals for you."

"That's cool." You smiled. "Do you have one too?" 

"Yeah." He tugged up his sleeve to show you. "That's all you can go back to work." 

"Thanks, Tony." You smiled at him before walking away. 

It was 10 at night when you finally finished your work and arrived back home, your mom was surprisingly not there yet, your dog walked over to you and greeted you happily. 

Your mom decided to get one so the house won't be so quiet anymore. 

"I'm just going to change and then we can play, okay?" You scratched behind his ears before leaving him for a bit. You changed into comfortable clothes before going back to the living room to play with the puppy. 

You were both playing quietly when the similar coldness from earlier happened to you again, you heard the muffled barks around you but you couldn't react to it. Your eyes rolled back as your body tipped backwards but this time you hit the floor with a thud, the device on your wrist started beeping loudly until you finally closed your eyes and lost consciousness. 

\----

You slowly opened your eyes and you were met by a familiar feeling, you immediately sat up and looked around you.

This can't be happening now. 

"Y/n, you're awake." A voice that you never thought you'd hear again said. 

"Vicrul, w-what-" He cut you off. 

"Don't worry, only I know you're here." Vicrul smiled at you. "You left your notebook here, and I know everything."

Vicrul noticed that alarmed look on your face. "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm here to help." 

"How did you find me?" 

"You literally popped out of nowhere in the training room, thankfully I was the only one there and I got help from a friend.." as Vicrul finished his sentence Kuruk walked in. 

"Surprised?" Kuruk raised his eyebrows at you and smirked, you rolled your eyes and Vicrul continued talking. 

"We'll help you go to him." 

"Who? Kylo?" 

"Palpatine."


	13. Chapter 13

"What the hell do you mean you're taking me to Palpatine?" You let out a bitter laugh, "I'm not even supposed to be here. Just take me to Kylo and-"

"Kylo is dead." Kuruk spits out before you could continue. "It's been months since Him and Rey faced Palpatine, both of them died and now the whole galaxy's at risk." 

"Months? No.." you were about to tell them that it's only been a month but you remembered that time works differently now, "..I still feel him here, he's alive I-" 

"That's just what the force tells you because of your connection, It's nothing but dead hope." Your heart starts to beat fast as your head began to throb, everything started to click, that was why your connection with Rey suddenly disappeared. 

"Kuruk, you should watch your words." Vicrul sighed and kneeled in front of you, lifting your face up. "Y/n?"

"Tell me he's alive." You gripped on his shirt tightly. "Tell me that Kuruk's just being an asshole right now." 

Hurt flashed in his eyes for a moment before pulling you close, it angered you more that he didn't say anything but deep inside you knew that there was nothing left to be said. 

\---- 

You were outside of their hideout, looking at the horizon in front of you. Vicrul and Kuruk left for a while before their disappearance gets noticed by the others, you were told that they're already making up a plan to help you, but for now, you just have to stay put. 

When the sun started to go down you walked back inside, finding your father's notebook on the bed. You picked it up and flipped through the pages hoping to find something useful. 

You ended up on a page filled with sketches and scribbled notes, you were halfway through studying it when you heard your name behind you, you immediately turned around yet saw nothing. 

"Y/n." A deep, yet warm voice called out to you. You slammed the notebook shut and desperately looked around. 

"Kylo?" You walked back outside and ran around the place until your legs hurt, you fell on your knees and slumped your shoulders in defeat, it was getting dark, too dark. 

"Y/n." You whipped your head around, but only saw Vicrul with a worried face. "I would ask you what you're doing here but your face says it all." He offered his hand to you, helping you stand up. 

"You know you'd have to let go for us to finish this chaos, right?" Vicrul says. 

"If I let go of him then I'd have no reason to stay here." 

\----

The three of you planned for days, Kuruk helped you sharpen your fighting skills without trying to kill you this time, you worried about how suddenly transporting here will affect you but there hasn't been any problem happening yet. 

"Are you sure you two coming here won't be a problem?" You asked as you set up the table for your meal. 

"Oh, we've been planning to.. disappear from them." Vicrul says

"I'm against that plan." Kuruk scoffs. "Disappearing won't do."

They continued bickering about it, until you placed the food in front of them and sat down to eat. 

"If the food is like this once we disappear, then let's do it." Kuruk suddenly says after taking a bite. "Why don't we have food like this on the ship?"

Once you all finished eating It was time for Vicrul to help you do research about how your powers worked, he also helped you monitor your health after your sudden appearance. 

"Kuruk's a bit weird these days.." You started as you looked through your notes. 

"He's just starting to warm up to you." He laughed, he scribbled down some notes while studying the book he got from the ship. 

"Warm up? He actually warms up to people?" You widened your eyes at him, you recalled the day you first met Kuruk, the guy was ready to kill you then. 

"Don't be so surprised, you got Kylo to warm up to you." Once his name was mentioned everything turned silent, Vicrul noticed how the mood changed and immediately apologized. 

"It's fine." Vicrul still felt bad after you said that. 

"You really love him don't you? And I'm just.." You looked up at him, putting down the notebook to look at him properly. 

"You're just..?" 

Vicrul swallowed the lump in his throat before shaking his head. "I'm really happy you found each other." His lips stretched into a toothless smile. 

"Me too."


	14. Chapter 14

"Y/n?" Someone whispered in the darkness. 

"Get out of there." 

You woke up gasping for air, you pressed your hand on your throbbing head and wiped the cold sweat off your skin, You rushed to the bathroom to wash your face but you noticed the blood dripping from your nose as you looked at the mirror. 

You grabbed a towel and soaked it in the water before wiping your nose and face with it, your watch started beeping loudly and you didn't even bother looking at it to know that your body was slowly breaking down from that single travel you made. 

You thought about what the voice said, should you be even listening to it?

The very next day, as soon as Vicrul and Kuruk arrived you already felt uneasiness.

"You look pale." Vicrul says as he let the needle sink into your skin to get some blood samples.

"Too pale." Kuruk comments. "You're scary."

"If I'm scary then what do you call yourself?" You said back at him.

Your head was pounding too much for you to reply, you licked your dry lips and closed your eyes.

"Y/n? Y/n." You peeled your eyes open. "Your nose is bleeding."

Your hand went up to your nose immediately and wiped away the blood.

"I'm sorry, this is just.." you tried to continue your sentence but there was nothing else to say, this is just what? Just signs of you dying?

"You're dying aren't you?" Kuruk quickly says. "Nope don't even answer that, you already look like you're dead."

"I just want to get this over with, I've waited and trained enough. Just take me to him." You pleaded.

Your heart ached, longing for so many things at a time. Home, Your mother, and Ben.

You received no reply, Vicrul just continued wiping away the blood from your face and didn't even dare to look at you in the eyes, the same with Kuruk who always seemed to stand with so much pride, was now looking down on his feet.

"Just get some rest for now." Vicrul smiled at you, "We're just going to stalk about this."

You didn't have any other choice but to nod, Vicrul guided you to your room and left you there for a while, you sat down on your bed and tried to shrug off your headache.

"Y/n." The voice said again, it was too distant for you to recognize who it was. "Y/n."

"You need to get out." You opened your eyes to see...

"Kylo?"

"I can't explain right now but you need to get out of here, Kuruk... Don't trust him." He said with a low voice.

"What do you mean, they're-"

"You're going to die, Y/n." He said with a harsh voice. "Reach out to the force, feel it. Find me."

You were about to reply when a knock echoed from your door, you turned your head towards it as Vicrul opened it.

"Who were you talking to?" He asked.

You looked at where Kylo was and saw nothing but an empty space.

"No one." You simply said. "A-are you done talking with Kuruk?"

You saw the hint of suspiciousness in his eyes, "Yes, and... We're leaving now."

"Now?"

"Yes, that was what you wanted right?" He slowly walked closer to you, you breathed sharply and he got nearer.

Are you supposed to believe what Kylo told you? Was that even really Kylo?

"Is there something wrong?" He said softly. "Are you still feeling sick?"

He lifted your head up carefully.

"I'm okay, it's just the headache." You wanted to trust Vicrul, you had enough proof to know that he was a good person.

"Go get your things, I'm going to prepare the ship." He held your hand, and slowly slipped a paper on yours. You furrowed your eyebrows at him, but he just gave you a stern look.

He finally left and closed the door behind him, you opened the paper and read the scribbled note.

'I got a message from Kylo, I know you've already spoken to him. I'll explain everything once we get out but for now, I need you to follow my lead.'

All of it just made your head ache even more, and you were sure you could pass out anytime, but after a few moments, you knew you didn't have any choice, you continued to read his written plan and memorized it as much as you can.

You walked out of your room and saw Vicrul and Kuruk talking. "Are you ready to go?"

You nodded at them.

"I'll start the ship." Vicrul says, giving you a look before getting out.

Now you were left alone with Kuruk, everything was going well with the both of you, but now you realized he's always been the same.

He always wants to kill you.

"Did you really think his plan's going to work?" Kuruk said out of blue, you nervously looked at him and saw the blade on his hands.

"What plan?"

"Don't act dumb, is that the last thing you want to do before you die?" He walked towards you and pressed the blade against your throat, just deep enough to draw blood.

You closed your eyes and tried to use the force.

"Can't use the force, you're too weak to do so." He chuckled. "I want to kill you so bad but that's Palpatine's job."

"So I'm just going to hurt you... Just a little bit." He jammed the blade into the side of your stomach. "Don't worry, It's not going to kill you."

You cried out in pain as you fell on the floor, clutching your stomach trying to stop the blood. Your head was aching and you were bleeding to death.

"You know, it's really stupid of you to think you're going to... Get me to Palpatine, because I'm pretty sure I'd be dead by then."

"I said it wasn't going to kill you."

"How are you sure though? I'm the one bleeding on the floor here." You tried to laugh, why the hell were you laughing? Happy that Kylo's alive or the fact that there's a high chance you were going to die instead of seeing that ugly emperor's face again.

"Too bad, I was starting to know you humorous side." You mumbled to yourself, you could feel the plan coming together, except you getting stabbed wasn't a part of the plan.

"What was that?"

Anytime now..

"I asked you a question-" you covered your eyes and heard the guns of the ship go off, after a few seconds, silence replaced the noise.

You opened your eyes to see Vicrul above you.

"I told you to duck, not bleed out."

"Well, your plan was shit."

"I'm the one getting your out f here and you're talking to me like that." You just smirked at him. "Come on."

He put his arms around you and lifted you up. "Woman, you're heavy."

"Asshole."

"Stop cursing at me." He carried you to the ship and looked at the cut on your stomach. "We should be able to go to a safe place before the First Order gets here."

"And then you'll explain everything?"

"I think you'd prefer if Kylo did."


	15. Chapter 15

The whole travel was a blur, you couldn't pay attention to it because of the pain on your stomach but once the ship landed you could barely keep your eyes open.

"Y/n, come on get ready." You faintly nodded at his words and tried to keep yourself conscious. You felt hid arms under you then lifting you up, you whimpered in pain and clenched your fist.

After a long while of fighting it off, you finally let your eyes close.

\----

Normally, after passing out like that you would wake up barely feeling anything, but this time you woke up to an unbearable pain crawling through your body.

You felt someone's hands on your shoulders, your eyes couldn't focus on anything but as you looked around your surroundings changed, and once again you saw Kylo's lifeless body, this time he was beside you.

A scream ripped through your throat and you were back into reality in a blink of an eye.

"Y/n?" And Kylo was the first person you saw.

And he was alive.

"I'm here.." His hand reached for yours and softly held it, you let your free hand comb through his hair.

"Your hair's getting too long." Your eyes locked with his gaze, you lstayed like that for a moment before you punched his shoulder.

"One sign would have been enough!" You punched him again. "One sign to let me know you were alive!"

"It would've gotten on the way of our plan..."

"I could have helped!"

"You were going to panic if we told you."

"I'm a calm person!"

"You're stubborn!" Kylo firmly said, you kept your mouth shut but a frown clearly visible on your face.

"Did you know how much it hurt to hear that you were dead?" You said with a lower voice. "To hear those words in the middle of chaos, adding to the fact that there's a low chance of getting back home?"

He didn't say anything back, you sighed and closed your eyes shut.

After a long silence, he finally spoke. "I'm sorry."

You didn't reply to that.

"I just want to go back home." 

A day later you were finally allowed to walk around, you were assured that the first order won't find where you were anymore, but it didn't stop the uncontrollable worry and anxiety that sweeps through your body everytime you think of it.

Kylo had explained almost everything clearly, how he planned everything once he arrived at the resistance.

He knew that you'd one day come for him so he had to make a plan for that as well, you didn't say anything to him anymore and simply asked what he was planning to do with Palpatine.

"End him," He simply says. "And I'm hoping to do it alone."

At that moment you felt utterly useless, if he didn't want you to help him then what will you do? If he didn't what you to help him then who?

"I said alone, Y/n." Kylo clears out, "I'm not planning to take Rey with me, it's too dangerous if she comes with, Palpatine's blood still runs through her veins."

"It's rude to read my mind without permission." You scowled at him but it was obvious that you were more embarrassed about the fact that he knows that you were jealous.

"I didn't, It was written all over your face." He smiled, you didn't say anything, no comebacks this time.

You just accepted the fact that he knew you too well.

Too much.   
\----

"Rey."

"Y/n."

You both stared at each other blankly, it was the first time you're seeing her in person.

"You're not going to let him go alone are you?" She says.

"Of course I'm not." You immediately replied.

"Yes, of course she's not." Vicrul rolls his eyes behind you. "If she was then we probably got a clone."

You glared at him and he held up both of his hands as a sign of his surrender.

"I can't follow him alone... Will you help me?"

"Now I'm helping you?" Rey raises her eyebrows. "Why should I?"

"... Because I'm asking for it?" You said hesitantly. "And I'm definitely going to die if I go alone."

"Yah! You won't go alone, I'll still go with you remember?" Vicrul adds in.

"We're both going to die if we go alone." You corrected yourself, "I'm also dying anyways so just think of this as your farewell thingy for me."

Rey let's out a sigh. "Fine, I was planning to follow him as well anyways."

You raised your eyebrows at her.

"Come on, we both know that no matter how powerful or ready he is, it's possible that he'll kill himself in the process."

"That's... Very true." Vicrul muttered.

\----

That night, Kylo announces that he'll go in the morning.

"What?!" The three of you exclaimed loudly.

"Finn and Poe aren't back yet, they'll be the one to bring you there remember?" Rey reasoned.

"I think you forgot that I am very capable of flying my own ship." Kylo furrowed his eyebrows at her.

"But are you even--"

"I'm going, and that's final." He said with a firm voice. You shared a look with Rey, your plan just fell apart right before you.

Without Poe and Finn giving him a ride you won't be able to follow safely.

"You're still so selfish." You frowned.

"And what part of this selfish?" Kylo questioned in return.

"Everything!" You raised your voice. "You're going alone! What about me? I might never be able to get back home, I'm going to die any day--"

"Y/n--" you ignored him and continued.

"What about Rey? Doesn't she get to fight? She worked hard for this as well didn't she? And Vicrul? He risked his life to make sure your plan all works out and..." You let a sob escape your lips, you could feel the throbbing in your head but the pain in your chest drowned it away.

"I hate you." You said weakly, looking down to avoid his eyes.

"I'll wait then," he finally says with a softer voice, "...and I'll take Rey with me?"

He asked as if he was asking for your confirmation.

You gave him a nod, you felt his hand on your shoulders before he walked away.

"Oh thank god that worked." You looked up after a few moments.

"You're a lunatic." Vicrul gasps.

"Did he just go all soft on you?" Rey says, shocked. "I was sure he was about to kill us all."

"I was ready to have my head separated from my neck." Vicrul agrees with Rey.

"Good acting, woman."

\----

You were laying on your bed, hoping to catch some sleep but your thoughts kept you awake, you thought about how you haven't talked properly with Kylo since you came here, and a proper talk means no one mentioning about what they were going to do.

You sat up from your bed, if you needed a proper talk you're going to get one.

As you walked towards Kylo's door, it suddenly opened. "Holy shit, you scared me."

"Why are you here?" He asked, you just shrugged.

"I can't sleep." He looked at you for a moment before opening the door wider for you to get in, after he closed the door, you immediately engulfed him in a hug.

"Why are you suddenly like this?" You felt the vibration in his chest as he spoke, "Ever since you came back all I heard was--"

"Are you really going to be affected by those? I was honestly waiting for you to fight back but it never came." You mumbled, "You changed so much.."

He sighed before pulling you away. "Come on."

You laid on the bed beside him and put your head on top of his chest, Kylo studied you, how your got a little bit thinner, your lips were paler and yet... It still seemed like stars shined in your eyes.

"Y/n?" He called, "I'm.. I'm glad I have you back."

You smiled at him. "Me too, so don't leave me again, hmm?"

"As long as you do the same."

You let out a chuckle. "I like this."

"Like what?"

"Soft and calm Kylo, Grumpy and Short tempered Kylo was good too but with this you're just a big teddy bear."

"I'm not." He scowled, "I was the supreme leader of the fi-"

"Grumpy and short tempered Kylo is back I guess." You teased, his face softened. "Aaaand, soft and calm Kylo returned."

"How are you still so positive even if you're..." He trailed off, not knowing if it was right to continue.

"I'm not going to die, atleast not now. I'm definitely not going to die because my body was too weak for my own abilities." You shook your head.

"Then how do you want to...die?"

"A heroic end would be nice." You joked.

"If you're planning to follow me, don't."

"Who says I was going to follow you?"

Kylo gave you a look, you sighed and nodded, it grew silent again, and this time you didn't bother to initiate another conversation.

"I wish we can stay like this forever." Kylo mumbled, heard drumming inside his chest. "But I guess tonight is all we can have."

"For now." You immediately added, trying to be optimistic.

Kylo nodded, agreeing with you. "For now."

You both knew that this might be one of the last moments you'll have together, everyone knew that, your own body is slowly giving up on you and Kylo was going off to a possible suicide mission.

But for now this was enough.

Each others warmth was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the typos, I don't proofread. we die like men.


	16. Chapter 16

As soon as you opened your eyes everything was already spinning, your head was throbbing and your whole body was cold, your eyes couldn't focus on anything but you forced yourself to stand up. 

"Kylo?" You called out, but there was no reply. you walked further, your arms stretched out in case you'll bump into something. 

"Kylo?" You called out again, voice weaker and the feeling of passing out is getting stronger. 

"Y/n!" someone said but it was definitely not Kylo, "You're sweating so much! what happened?" 

"Sweating? I'm so cold!" You shivered, Rey made you sit down, your vision's a little clearer, and you saw that Poe and Finn are already there. "Where's Kylo?" 

"Shit, is she dying?" Poe asked, "She can barely keep her eyes open." 

"Can someone please answer my question?!" You tried to raise your voice but all it came out shaking instead. 

"He left." Finn says, "We get here, try to get some rest... then the Falcon's gone." 

You closed your eyes and sighed, of course he left. And he was the one who called you stubborn. "When did he leave?" 

"Sunrise, I think?"

"What an asshole." 

"I agree," Finn said. 

You tried to think of something you can do to go to him, you were sure no one was going to let you go after him after seeing you like this, there was only one option left and that was teleporting to him. 

There's a chance you'll drop dead as soon as you reach him but whatever the outcome is, someone will die, and it's either you or Kylo. 

And every time you thought about it the images of him dead kept on flashing on your mind, he was on the ground and so still, just the thought of it made you itch to go to him immediately. 

"You should probably go back to sleep, you look scary," Vicrul says, guiding you back to your room.

"If you're thinking about teleporting there, please don't. you'll die in the middle of it." 

"I may be stubborn but I'm not going to do something pointless." you sat down your bed, "So just go, I feel like I'm going to throw up if I don't close my eyes soon." 

"Alright." Vicrul nodded and smiled, walking over to you to brush your hair up. "Y/n..." 

"Yes?" You asked tiredly, looking up at him to meet his eyes. His hand brushed down to touch your cheek. "If you're going to comment about how I look like a zombie I'm going to throw you out the window." 

He chuckled before shaking his head. "No, just-- Don't die, hmm?" 

"What if I do? what will you do? Kill me?" you said jokingly, you smiled until you noticed the serious look on his face. "Hey, why are you so serious? I'm going to live, then I'll recover, then go home. Maybe I can let you visit home too then... we can hang out!" 

"Yes, you do that." He sighed as he stood up straight, "Get some rest." 

He walked out of the room and you immediately put on a robe, grabbing the weapon you got from Vicrul before closing your eyes and picturing the place, you could feel the pain suffocating you but now's not the time to think about it, you gripped your weapon tightly and let the pain push your abilities to work. And after a few moments...You were gone, the coldness immediately greeted you, and you opened your eyes to see the scene you've always feared. 

Kylo was standing alone, bruised, covered in wounds with two lightsabers in both of his hands. 

You were supposed to be here early. 

Why does it look like you're too late?


	17. Chapter 17

You checked the watch Tony gave you and saw that the travel took two goddamn hours, you looked up from it and met Kylo's eyes, you were a few steps away from each other but you could see his shallow breaths and tired eyes.

The pain in your body immediately disappeared as you ran towards him as quickly as you could.

"I have been waiting for you." An eerie voice stopped you in your tracks, you turned to see Palpatine. "You've come to die as well?"

"You're clearly wrong, I was already dying before I got here." You smirked at him.

Y/n, no. Kylo said in your mind, you shrugged him off.

"It seems like you still don't know what you can do with those abilities of yours." He says, "Do you want to know? Your bloodline is as important as the Skywalker's, possibly much more important."

"That doesn't mean shit."

"Your father was so powerful." He continued, "I'm sure you'll be so much more."

"You're the only one so greedy for power here, Old man." You chuckled.

"Well so is the last Skywalker." He motioned at Kylo, you looked back at him with questioning eyes, he just shook his head.

"We were just in the middle of a negotiation... Before you interfered, I'm afraid I'll need to force you to leave."

It was all so sudden, and it was very annoying.

Palpatine raised his hand and a struck of lighting hit you, but instead of dying because it your abilities were forcibly activated, but that didn't mean you couldn't control where you needed to go.

Your decision was clearly made from panic and fear, you let the power Palpatine had used on you be redirected, where?

Back at him.

Palpatine screamed in pain and stopped using his power on you, "That's impossible for a user that has never been taught."

"I just keep on surprising myself as well." Although what you did brought your body so much pain and just made you weaker, a new plan was already forming in your head.

"But your emotions clearly give everything off." He raised his hand and Kylo and attacked, but luckily Kylo's instincts were strong and immediately blocked it with a lightsaber in his hand.

"You can't do anything about this now, can you? You're not from here, this is not your story." You tried to redirect his attacks on Kylo to somewhere else but you felt trapped.

"You can't do anything about that." It was Kuruk, how the hell was he still alive?

"Why are you always the problem?" You glared at him, he stood in front of your and put his weapon's blade under your chin.

"How should I kill you?" He whispered. "Cut your head off?" 

He then lowered his blade and let it push through your stomach, "this is better, so while you bleed out you can watch him die."

He pulled away and let you drop on the ground, you weren't going to die like this, it's not a heroic end at all.

"Asshole." You mumbled.

"What was that?" He asked, you breathed heavily and glared at him again, you lifted him off the ground, choking him at the process.

"Asshole." You said again, your hand was trembling as you tightened the force on his throat. "So, how should I kill you?"

You lifted him higher and let sent him flying away, you stayed still for a moment to calm yourself down.

You came here for Kylo and not all this bullshit.

You forced yourself to stand up, but you kept on falling on the ground.

Kylo was still fighting him off, with two lightsabers in both his hands, you crawled your way closer to him.

For a moment, you saw blue shadows behind him, but what caught your attention the most is the determination in his eyes.

So much hope sparkled in them.


	18. Chapter 18

How could you help? You couldn't stand and not do anything, you couldn't just leave him there.

Suddenly, you felt a tug in the force, so you reached out, trying to share your power with him, and fortunately it was working.

"I'm with you." You whispered to him, the blue and white lights shined brighter.

Your vision was blurry, and you couldn't move your body anymore but the only thing you could feel was that your hands were cold.

And after a few moments, Silence.

Then there was warmth.

"Y/n..." You heard Kylo whisper, "Can you hear me?"

Kylo asked the same question again after a few moments before realizing that you couldn't.

He felt your hand grip his shoulder, you couldn't hear him but you could feel him there.

"Is it finished? Ben?"

His voice got caught in his throat, you've never called him by that name before, not that he could remember.

"Yes, love." He touched your cheek, hoping you could hear him even just a little. "We're safe."

No you weren't. Threat may be gone but death is still on your tail, you could feel the blood gushing from his shoulder, and he could feel your life slipping away from your body.

"Let's go home," You say and he nods, you put your hand behind his neck and pulled him close, then you closed your eyes.

And once again, You were gone. Just before the whole place crushes the both of you.

You both didn't know where you ended up, but the sun shined bright on the both of you, you could feel grass tickling your skin, but the feeling you focused on was the body close to yours.

"I don't know where we are but--"

"Shhh... It's okay you saved us from being crushed." He assures you, and you chuckled lightly.

"This isn't really... A heroic end isn't it?" You wanted a heroic kind of death but you weren't really going to get that now, you could barely open you eyes and get words out of your mouth.

"Who says it's supposed to end now?" Ben's eyebrows furrows at you, even though his eyes showed that he knew what would come next, you laughed again, cupping his face with your hands, focusing on his features before making his wounds go away.

"Stop that." He pulled your hand away but didn't let it go.

"Stop being bossy."

"Stop acting like you're not dying." He gritted his teeth, letting the tears flow from his eyes. "Stop acting like you're not leaving me."

This wasn't the first time He crumbled down in front of you, but it hurt a lot more than it did before.

This wasn't Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren was long gone, and the person in your arms was Ben.

"I'm not leaving you." You tell him. "You can't really get rid of me that fast."

He leaned in, lips nearing yours and you met him halfway.

"I love you." He whispered against your lips, he waited, and waited for a response. "I hope you know that."

The sun's shine on the both of you was warm.

But it failed to stop your body from turning cold.

And so, your eyes fluttered shut before you could say anything back.


	19. Chapter 19

"Ren, are you fucking serious?" Vicrul scoffed at him, Ben looked up at him with wide eyes. "You could have... Made her run away, made her go back, why didn't you?"

"You and I both know that she won't do that." Ben answered, it's been hours since he came back without you, hours since you disappeared in his hands.

"I should've..." Vicrul ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "M-maybe she's still out there h-how did she disappear? Because--"

"Vicrul that's enough." Rey cut him off, both sides were hurt but Ben... "Ben, calm yourself down."

Vicrul and Kylo didn't realize how everything was floating around them until it all dropped to the ground.

"It's my fault." Ben said quietly.

"It's good that you know." Vicrul gritted his teeth. "Now find her."

Ben closed his eyes and sighed, where could he find you, and how could he possibly know you're still alive?

How can he know when you disappeared right before his eyes.

Kylo Ren wouldn't have cared if an ally died.

But then again, he fell for you as Kylo Ren, he loved you as Kylo Ren and so did he as Ben Solo.

Ben or not you still loved him anyways.

"What are you thinking?" Rey asked him.

"I'm going to find her."

"You can't be serious, you said it yourself she's gone!"

"How can we be sure? She's done a lot of things, even impossible ones." Ben walks out of the place without another word and Rey immediately follows him.

"You think this will do you any good? Why can't you just accept that she's dead!"

Ben turned around swiftly, almost making Rey stumble backwards, and for a moment she saw the anger Kylo Ren once held in his eyes.

"When everyone told you your Parents aren't coming back did you believe them?"

Rey opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, Ben gave her a glare once last time before running off.

Rey knew that he would be willing to do everything just to get you back and if he doesn't...

It won't be very good.

"Vicrul! What the hell have you done." She yelled as she walked inside, if this doesn't turn out well, it's going to be bad.

If Ben said he purely believes that you're alive it would be alive, maybe his decision was made out of desperation but there was something telling him that he shouldn't give up on you anyways.

"Y/n, when I find you we're going to have a serious talk." He said to himself as he boards his ship, "Then we're running away from this shithole, maybe go to your mom's?"

He looks ahead and starts his ship.

"But first, you need to be alive."


	20. Chapter 20

You woke up expecting to be dead.

Because after all, you were supposed to be dead, but instead you saw a blonde man and a kid.

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing you asked.

"She's alive!" The kid exclaimed, kneeling beside you. "Ma'am, are you okay?"

"I'm not really sure... What I'm supposed to be feeling? I'm pretty sure I should be dead."

The kid laughed at your not-really-joke, "Well, you appeared out of nowhere, we're fighting right now so let me escort you to-"

His voice grew distant as you looked around, it was a war zone, people were running here and there and there was stuff around that shouldn't be here.

"Miss? Your nose is bleeding maybe we should... Hold on... Y/n?"

Your eyes grew wide at the kid's question. "How do you know me?"

"... You're basically the best character in star wars, wait why are you acting as if you're the character? Wait no, ARE YOU THE CHARACTER-"

"Peter. That's enough, she looks like she's going to pass out at any moment. We need to take her to the tower."

Before you could ask who and where you were you were lifted by a Blue-eyed American man, you stared for a moment, wondering where you've seen him before.

A few more steps later, you passed out.

\-----

"Kylo."

"Stark."

Ben had figured out how to contact him through the force, upon hearing the news, Stark immediately rushed to his dimension to help.

"You know there are millions of dimensions we need to go to, right?"

Ben nods.

"And that my travels are limited."

Ben nods again, he understood every little detail about your abilities.

"We might not find her."

"I can't, but with you, at least there's hope." Tony nods at his words, both of them knew the negative and positive outcomes of this, but they need to have patience.

Tony couldn't refuse to help, he can't just leave it here especially since your mother is still waiting for you.

"Alright, let's do it."

\----

The room they kept you in was cold, or maybe it was due to your weak body but it felt like you were trapped, a nurse came in earlier, surprised to see you awake before he rushed out to inform someone.

You pondered while waiting.

Where were you? Why are you still alive?

The last thing you remembered was... A man with dark hair, what was his name? 

"Miss?" You looked up, "I'm Tony Stark, and Dr. Banner is currently not available right now."

"I'm sorry, do I know you? I feel like I've seen you somewhere." You smiled politely as you asked. "I'm Y/n."

"Are you though?"

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he walks closer and sits on the stood beside the bed your sitting on.

"We did some research on you, you look like the actress but... You have different eyes." He showed the screen to you and you looked closely, you did look like that, but your eyes were very, very different.

"Can you tell me what you remember before our team found you?"

You stayed silent for a moment, trying to remember a clear memory from before, why can't you remember?

"Anything? Anyone?"

You shook your head no, "Just, a man, long dark hair, his eyes were brown."

Tony nods at you, another man walks in, and it was the same person from earlier.

"Hello, I'm Steve Rogers." He reached forward to shake your hand and you took it, you told him your name in return before dropping his hand.

"It's weird... You all seem so familiar."

Steve smiles at you before saying "We'll figure it out, I hope you understand that we can't just let you go since.."

"I appeared out of nowhere." You finished for him, "That kid earlier, he said something about Star Wars? And then he mentioned my name, how did he know me?"

"Oh yeah, that." Tony sighs and rubs his forehead, "Well, Peter just... got excited, and confused."

You bit your bottom lip and didn't ask more questions even if you wanted to, they asked you a couple more questions, and it turns out the only thing you're sure of is your name.

"Hello, I apologize for being late." Another man in glasses walks in with a raid haired girl trailing behind him, you grew uneasy with the people starting to crowd you, Steve seemed to notice this and gave you a reassuring smile.

"It's just going to take a while." He says.

"I'm Dr. Banner, I checked your vitals on the way and everything... seems to be normal." 

"But her memories aren't any good." Tony informs him, crossing his arms as he spoke further, "She's not sure about anything but her name, maybe we can bring Loki in? you know... he does those kinds of stuff right?" 

"Tony, I don't know. She might not take it well." Steve says, unsure of the idea. 

"No, it's okay." You spoke up. "I can do it." 

Tony gave Steve a look, they spoke about a few more things before another man appeared out of nowhere, you backed away at the sudden appearance and he just smirked. 

"Well, this is Loki and he can help you with your memories." You studied the man's features in front of you and his hair reminded you of the man in your memory, but Loki's was pushed back. 

He walked closer to you and crouched down to meet your eye lever. "Do you mind?" He asked as he reached out to touch your forehead.

"...Do what you need to do, I guess." He smiled at your response before his thumb made contact with your skin, suddenly, flashes of light danced across your vision, there he was again. 

His back was facing you, and so you called out.

"Ben." 

"Loki enough!" The images were pulled away as Loki's hand was yanked away from you, you looked around and saw that the red-haired woman pointing her gun at you, while Loki, stared at you in amazement, Dr. Banner though, had a green arm slowly going back to normal. 

"What happened?" You asked, "Did I do something?"

They all remained silent, panting hard as if they just experienced something scary. 

Tony finally spoke after a while, "I think we should bring Peter in."


	21. Chapter 21

Peter explained everything to you, even made you watch clips from the Star Wars he was talking about, and grew excited when you pointed out how the man from your memories was there, Peter was amazed too, but it went down when you said what happened in it isn't the same. 

"So it's called the force." 

"Yes." 

"And I have it." 

"Yes." 

"I suddenly use my ability, that's why I ended up here instead of being dead." 

"Yes." He grinned at you, "You were a sudden addition to the series but your character... wow." 

You gave him an awkward smile, still absorbing the information thrown at you. It's been a day since you ended up here, without any solid memory at the moment, everything was still confusing but the so-called 'Avengers' said they were willing to help, you were moved into another room instead of that lab looking one, everyone was kind, Natasha, the red-haired girl, apologized for pointing a gun at you. 

"Miss Y/n?" Peter asked, "By the end of the series, you actually died. People were mad about it, your character was good and they wasted it just because you weren't really the protagonist the directors wanted to build." 

"What about Kylo?" A frown grew on Peter's face, and you had your answer, you had little memories of what happened but you knew who Kylo Ren was, you knew how your heart clenched when you saw him in your memories. 

"Thank you for informing me, Peter. I don't want to keep you here too long." You gave him a grateful smile then patting his back, his face turned red and you laughed, he stood up, bid his goodbye, and went on his way. 

Steve said you can wander around if you were bored, so you did that, you walked around the tower, amazed by how big it was, and smiling at people who gave you weird looks for wearing pajamas as you walked around, it wasn't your fault that you didn't know the tower was also a workplace. 

You walked in the elevator and moved to the corner when five more people walked in, it was awkward, maybe you shouldn't have gone out. 

"Excuse me, I don't think you belong here?" A man turned to you, your eyebrows shot up at his words. "I think we have another crazy fan here, can anyone contact the security? tell them to meet us on the 12th floor."

You couldn't say anything as a woman pulls out her phone and talks to the Security, you tried explaining but your words were ignored. You were starting to get annoyed and not long later, you arrived on the 12th floor and Security was already there. 

They took you by your arms and started to drag you away.

"If you don't let go of me right now I will-"

"What? Lady? call Captain America for help?" They laughed at you and you scoffed. 

"No, you fucki-" 

"Is there a problem here?" You turned around and so did the three security guards, you saw Loki standing behind you. "Y/n, what did you do?" 

"Nothing." You shrugged, Loki frowns at the guards.

"She did nothing why are you dragging her away so harshly?" 

The guards stuttered, but the man on your left had the guts to answer casually. 

"We thought she was another crazy fan." 

"And you're supposed to drag them around with your grip on them like that?"

"Hmm, off you go." The same man was about to say something again but was dragged away by his co-worker, Loki gently put his arm around your shoulder as he transported you both back to the floor of your room. "You're lucky I found you." 

"I had it under control." 

"Under control? by what? cursing at them?" He chuckled, Loki went to the kitchen and pulls out a carton of cereal out of the cabinet. "Have you eaten yet?" 

"No..."

He continues to make two bowls of cereals before calling you to sit with him and eat, you felt like Loki needed something from you, the way Steve reacted when he was mentioned made you think that he wasn't normally this friendly. 

But you let it be, having some company is nice so you won't complain about it, you both ate in silence, the emptiness of your stomach began to be satisfied even if it was just cereal because you couldn't even remember what you ate last.

"I was just curious about you..." He started, "You're too powerful for your own good."

You raised an eyebrow at him, "what? Me? Pfft."

Loki drops his spoon into the bowl, "You think this is some kind of joke? You nearly wrecked the lab the other day."

"I did?" You gasped.

"You're hopeless." He rolled his eyes at you, "You saw it in your memories, you have potential."

"Yeah, sure. If I remember using any of my abilities." You continued eating your food.

"How about the Kylo guy? You guys seemed... Pretty chill." You laughed at his term, "Don't laugh at me, Peter's been teaching me Midgardian terms."

"Sure, Loki god of mischief." You jokingly said.

You chatted more after that, joking around even if the other didn't really laugh at your jokes, but he smirked at them even if he tried to hide it.

The elevator doors slid open and Steve walks out, giving you both a surprised expression when he saw you.

"I didn't know you started making friends, Loki." He teased.

"Mind your business." Loki groaned under his breath.

You smiled, amused by their interaction.

"Ma'am, are you doing alright so far?" Steve asks you.

"I'm doing good, and please call me Y/n." You say.

"Tell him about our little encounter earlier." Loki smirked, you shot him a glare and he looked down immediately.

"What encounter?"

"Nothing. Just had an awkward meeting earlier." You heard Loki chuckle at your response, you just met him but you already want to punch his pretty face.

You finished up your cereal and stood up, "I'm going to go now, my head kind of-"

As you took your first step, you collapsed, you dropped to the ground in a thud, you heard the two shuffle towards you.

"Are you okay?"

"Why are you so clumsy?"

You just sat up and told them you were fine even if the fall did hurt a little, your head began to spin though.

"Wow, Banner was right when your body's quietly giving up on you." You hear Loki say. "You should probably take her to her room, Rogers."

You felt strong arms lift you up, before being out down on a soft matress, your eyes remained closed, knowing that the lights will make your headache worse.

"Y/n, try not to move around too much, okay?"

"God, I think I should've stayed dead."

"I don't think the team's going to let you die anytime soon."


	22. Chapter 22

It's been three months since Ben met up with Tony, they've been trying to track the device Tony gave you but it's going slow.

The fact that they only have limited time of travels made it more worse.

"Hey, thought you might need some coffee." Tony gave him a mug, Ben took it without another word. "You know, I don't really trust you... That much?"

"That's understandable."

"I know who you are, like who you really are now."

"I know."

"Makes me wonder why you let Y/n survive from your tantrums." Tony chuckled, the thing is, Ben didn't know why he let her either.

What he knew is that realizing you have feelings for someone just before shit's about to go down really sucks, especially for you.

"Hey kid, it's not your fault." Tony said as if he read his mind, "Her father was stubborn too, the only thing in their mind was to save, to protect."

To love, Tony wanted to add.

"Y/m/n couldn't do anything, nor could I because... I just ran out of travels when I returned to our world. But Y/n? Still don't know how she did it but I guess it's you're connection, fate pulling you together whenever you go."

"Fate?" Ben asked.

"Yeah. Fate, can't escape it."

Ben stared at the coffee in his hands, well if it truly is fate... He'll get you back.

\----

"Y/n, did you take your meds?" Steve asked as you walked inside the Quinjet, sitting down and strapping your seatbelt on.

"Yeah, cap." You replied, it's been months and you've proven yourself quite useful to the team during those times, and now you occasionally went with them on missions. "Loki reminded me today."

"You guys are really close, huh?" Steve gave you a knowing smile, you rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

The ride was silent, it felt like you've done this before but you just couldn't remember, maybe because your memories were continuing to slip away despite Loki trying to help you to get it back, even if Peter made you watch all those movies.

When you landed, you and Steve worked together as a pair. Scurrying through the buildings and knocking people out when needed, the goal was to get someone useful working in this building.

His name was complicated to pronounce but you remembered his features.

"Y/n? Where are you?" You heard Steve ask through the comms. "I lost you at third floor."

"I'm still here, just... Looking around." You said as you walked along the hallways of the building, remaining alert in case someone was planning to make a surprise attack, and you were right, as you turned to the corner, someone masked jumped on you.

They didn't get too far though, because as soon as your raised your hand, he was frozen on the spot. You pulled off his mask and chuckled when you saw the face you memorized.

"Cap, I got him."

"That was quick, hold on for a moment, I'll go to you." You followed what he said, so you just stood there with the man floating and frozen.

You looked at him awkwardly, slowly squinting at him. "I feel like I've met you before, what's your name?"

You let his head be able to move.

"I'm known as Kuruk, how the fuck do you not know my na-" You stopped him from speaking and thought about the name, you definitely heard about it before.

"Y/n, come on." You turned around to the direction of Steve's voice, he started walking and you immediately followed with the wanted man trailing behind.

"Cap, I think I know who this one is." You said.

"Maybe... You've encountered a version of him in your world, we have another version if you here." He was right, it made sense. You wondered it everyone had a different version of themselves in different dimensions.

You both walked into the Quinjet, as the gates of the ship began to close, shots started to fire. Cao raised his shield and you dropped Kuruk on the ground.

The doors finally slid shut and you looked Cap in front of you, slowly lowering his shield.

"You okay?" He turned to you as you asked your question.

"I am..." His eyes trailed to your arm, and continued "but you're not."

Slowly, you felt warmth on your arm slowly dripping down to your hand, "Well, shit."

You frowned at it, Steve was about to say something until your heard a shuffle, Kuruk was starting to get up and so you immediately knocked him out.

"Should've done that earlier." You scrunched up your nose as you slumped down on the seats.

"You're bleeding a lot."

"Yes, Please don't mention it, it hurts more if I focus on the pain." A medic rushed to your side and slowly tried to aid your arm, just to stop the bleeding before it gets properly treated at the tower.

"You act as if you're so used to it."

"I just feel like I've felt worse." You looked at Steve and gave him a smile, "You know? Like eating spicy food but it's not spicy anymore so it's like... Meh."

Steve laughed lightly at your explanation, "Don't get hurt too much, kid."

Steve turned his back from you and mumbled something you couldn't hear, you let your head rest back and decided to nap for a bit.

\----

"Y/n, you're too careless for your own good." Was the first thing you heard as you regained consciousness, Loki was standing in front of you with a very visible frown on his face.

"Hello, did you miss me?"

"Shut up, the tower was actually quiet without you." You jokingly pouted at his response, not taking it to heart as you two normally joked like that.

"Is that how you're supposed to treat your bestie."

Loki gave you a disgusted expression, rolling his eyes as well.

"Bold of you to think we're friends." He turned around and walked out your room.

"Yeah, love you too!" You shouted after him, a smile remained on your face as a medic walked in shortly after Loki left, this one was a chatty one though. But you were too shy to tell her to stop talking.

"I think you and Loki would look good together." She said as she finished changing your bandage. "Are you a thing?"

"Pfft, no. He literally told me I wasn't his friend earlier."

"I think the opposite, he was here in your room for hours, waiting for you to wake up. Even fought with Captain when you arrived."

Wow this one was really talkative but you were amused by the information you were getting.

"Anyways, ma'am. You're all good, just don't move your left arm too much for a while." She says before walking out of your room with her stuff, your eyes followed her as she left and saw as she passed by a tall man with long, dark hair.

"Y/n." Your name escaped from his lips just before he disappeared.

What the fuck?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked chapter one. Tell me if I should continue it or nah.


End file.
